I'm scared and I need advice

Hi Acornette.   I am so sorry to hear all this and I think you are all being very brave. I suppose any of us on here could end up in a similar situation.  We just don’t know. I haven’t got any advice really, except that I don’t think the hospital should maybe have been so blunt with you?  Also, I was with my dad when he died (admittedly a different cancer)  we were alone at home with just my mum and it was a very positive experience.  I am really hoping that you and your dad have something easier than they have suggested.  I can understand your worries, but maybe know that it is your dad and you love him and you will get through this together.  Sending love.   Lizzie

Hi Acornette. Di sorry ti your  your news. Remember your first and subsequent ones. Has dad considered hospice care if home at hospice care ? Might relieve the pressure gif all concerned. Hope you got tk make sone fabulous memories and look after yourself and baby please. Hugs Hazel xx

Hi Acornette, so sorry to hear you and your family are having to suffer this difficult and sad time, when my Mum was at end of life, also from Cancer, we enlisted the help of the wonderful Iain Rennie hospice at home nurses, there was no Macmillan in her area but they do same job.  They were very unobtrusive, so caring and a great shoulder to lean on.  With endless knowledge of how to keep their patient comfortable and cups of tea for the family.  They were there 24 hours a day which enabled us all to get some sleep knowing they would contact us when needed.  I don’t think we would have coped so well without them.

It must help that your Dad has come to terms and is at peace, just like my Mum, but you need to take care of you and your baby too.  Maybe this is something you could consider to ease your burden.

Enjoy the time you have together.

Take care.

Sending comforting hugs

Dawn

Hi Acornette. So sorry you are having to deal with this but I feel that your dads clinicians do need to be honest with you. I have seen this. It was quick and consciousness was lost very quickly and more important painlessly. 
It is a horrid thing to live with the anticipation but if your dad wants to die at home I don’t think you have any choice.

The circumstances were different but my dad died of kidney cancer when I was in my early twenties. It was difficult caring for him but my mother took the lions share. I remember asking the GP if he could go to hospital. I am ashamed of that to this day. I’m glad I was with him when he died at home in his bed and my memories are of what a wonderful man he was not how he died. 
Im not for a second suggesting that you want him in hospital so please don’t take it that way. You’re just scared of what is going to happen. That’s natural. Waiting for it to happen is worse than the actual event. 
Im sending you a huge hug. I can’t think of anything else to do. 

The paramedics we're so great with us yesterday, although it was traumatic to be told what is going to happen I think today after me and my sister have had a good night's sleep it has sunk in and we're beginning to accept it, bit by bit. 

Yes we had a bombardment of district nurses and doctors yesterday. We did discuss hospice but my dad is hell bent at passing at home and after conversations we've accepted his decision and are working around it.i had a scan yesterday so I could let my dad know the gender I'm having, I'm having a boy x

We'll be there everyday until it happens and the district nurses we'll be coming in everyday aswell. They have been a massive comfort during this time, knowing my sister and I won't be alone.

Yes this perfectly describes how I'm feeling, it's not so much the death that's difficult to accept it's the nature of it but me and my sister are grateful it's going to be quick and painless for him. He's completely at peace and he's slowing down. The plan is if any pain starts to kick in to contact the district nurse, we've had a couple days to come to terms with the nature of his death and it feels a little easier today than yesterday. It's gunna be a case of time and baby steps. 

Bless you Acornette. You’ve been a Rock for your Dad. The fact that you had a scan and told your dad he will have a grandson had me in tears. He has a wonderful daughter. Xx

Hi sending much love to you and your family,you are a lovely daughter. A little boy how brilliant xx