Dad's stage 4 cancer

Hi Doll88.

Sorry to hear your dad's story and that you find yourself here.  The majority of people on here are suffering with OC or dealing with it as carers and loved ones. I really don't know who it is harder for.

You and dad are bound to be distraught by this news. I am not medically trained and therefore cannot guide you. However, please be patient and wait for the diagnostics and meetings that are to come. The medics have to give you worst case scenario. There maybe hope. After all, you can look into chemo, radiotherapy, immunotherapy and possibly some form of trials. Don't just give up. Keep positive. Hard to do I know but the alternative will grind you down.

Hugs and regards to you and your dad.

Geo.

Thank you for your kind words. 

It was only 3 years since my mum was diagnosed with breast cancer we were lucky that they removed it all and she's bounced back and been in remission for 2 years. She's been an absolute rock for my dad. I'm trying to keep things normal as possible as that's what he wants.  I know that there are treatments out there and trying to remain positive but often can't help but think the worst and it absolutely breaks my heart! 

Good news about your mum glad she is in remission. I think even if they told me I was clear, I would be thinking that every little ache or pain will be cancer. Just finished my first for rounds of chemo and waiting for info on scans and possible surgery. 

It's only normal to be worried and fear the worst but keeping hoping for the best.

Geo.

Thank you. 

I have alot of family around and my own little family but sometimes its hard to talk to them. 

I hope everything goes well for you moving forwards :)

My dad is much older than your dad, at 89. He has oesophageal cancer Stage 4 (incurable) with lung metastasis. I am documenting his illness on the ‘incurable’ forum. But your dad is young. They may be able to treat it. Dad wasn’t that lucky. See what they say and keep us posted. (And rubbing his back may help him. My dad has back and chest pains and finds a back rub comforting and helpful.)

I totally understand the anxiety you are feeling. My sister and I feel it all the time, although I have been able to accept it a little now, 3 months on. But it’s a rollercoaster and some times are better than others. Take time to go on walks. Go out with friends for chatty evenings. Just let yourself cry when you want to. It helps. Hug your dad lots and tell him you love him lots too. And big hugs to you from me. xxx

Hi Doll88 

Sorry to hear about your Dad’s situation .My husband was treated for his OC at The Christie Hospital so be reassured no matter how dire the situation may seem your Dad is in the most excellent hands  …Dr Waddell was my husbands oncologist and he is very knowledgeable in Cancer treatment ….I know it must be difficult but don’t lose hope ..Treatment for OC has come a long way over the last decade and although your Dad can’t be cured there are many treatments now available that maybe could help .

My husbands OC was staged earlier than your Dad’s and was operable but it was still a very difficult process to go through ..As a family you can all support Dad and each other ..We became a team and it really does help to get you through it all .

Sending positivity and best wishes your way 

Stay strong …regards J 

Thank you so much for your comforting words.

It's just been so hard to take in, he doesnt like people fussing over him and I know he feels that he is burdening everyone he hasn't been able to get out for a week other than for a chest X-ray and it's affecting his mental health alot. He's tried heat patches....speed heat...and he has cocodamol to take. 

I live a good 25 minutes away and work full time and just feel so helpless he calls me every night around 7pm and we have a good chat but I can see in his face how sad he is. 

I'm keeping positive and keep reading the treatments available so praying everyday that they can atleast treat it and manage it for quite some time. 

We have lost so many family member over tha last couple of years.....3 aunties to cancer one being his sister the other 2 sister in law's and my dad's nephew passed away only last year. Just when we felt like we were bouncing back from everything this then happens. 

I hope your dad is resting well it sounds like he has alot of love around him. 

Again thank you for your kind words. 

Hi Doll, I just had to send you a big hug and say you’re a brilliant daughter I know dad will be so proud of you. It’s the stomach forum we’re really on but joined this one as well. Sending love and hugs to you and your parents xx

Hello Sue. 

Thank you that's lovely of you to say. 

He has some tests this week to check his lungs are healthy enough for Chemo. I'm constantly reading success stories just so I don't have to think about the worst :( I know there are treatments available and it's good to read that some people have been successful with treatment. So fingers crossed for my dad.

Again thank you so much cc