Personality changes

I would suggest that yes the absolutely brutal treatment he has undergone will have changed him physically AND emotionally. It's really only others that have walked this path themselves who can really relate to what your husband has gone through. I find myself envying others with a cancer that isn't as life changing as ours and I feel ashamed to admit that.

I think I'm probably the same sort of character as your hubby and have been humbled by this experience. 

I'm told that it takes a good while to recover to anywhere near pre-op lifestyle so try and be patient with him

Anthony x

Hello Beebop.

This sounds very difficult for you, particularly after all of the challenges that you will have supported your husband through since his diagnosis.

Through my work I've heard men talk about the difficulties that they've had dealing with major life changes, including serious illness, bereavement and job loss. It was hard for them to come to terms with their own vulnerability in a world where men often think they need to be strong, fearless and to look after and provide for their family.

My husband hasn't had the surgery as this wasn't an option for him. He has become calmer, more patient and more easily upset at tragic deaths like those in the German Christmas market. He was  needlessly apologetic about his symptoms and is now about the side effects of his treatment. 

These might be described as personality changes too which, like Bob suggests, are inevitable. Do you think your husband has depression? I wonder if he's had counselling? A friend of mine found counselling very helpful after his devastating treatment for throat cancer. 

Stay strong and, hopefully, in time, yor husband's bubbly side will return xxx