Dads Oesophageal cancer and other emotional events.

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Hello. I am new to this and really need help and advice.

These last 5 years have been really hard for my Dad and our family and it doesn't get any easier. Over 5 years ago my Dad had a stroke and lost use of his left arm and left leg . My Mum couldn't look after in the family home so he ended up in a care home. 3 months later his Son-In-Law died in his sleep at the age of 57. Not long after my Mother-In-Law died too. The following year June 2020 my Mum got diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and there was nothing anyone could do to save her. She spent the last week of her life in the same care home as my Dad. 3 months later I had to sell the family home to pay for Dads care in the home which to me is totally wrong.

Then my Father-In- Law died not long after. These were all friends of the family. Recently as I spend a lot of time with my Dad he started bringing everything he hate or drank back up. After 3 weeks of this and having 3 different doctors visiting him who could see nothing wrong with him I visited one Thursday night to watch football with him and he just kept doing the same so I rang 111 and eventually got him admitted to hospital. After a day and half waiting in the corridor for a bed to become available, he eventually moved to a ward. He had a CT scan eventually which revealed a 7 inch tumour. They did a biopsy too.

They have put a stent in so he can eat but wont be doing chemotherapy or radiotherapy on him. I did ask the consultant how long Dad had left but she said they didn't know. I did task if the tumour grows and she said yes. Please could anyone give me any more information on this horrible disease. I was watching football with him this afternoon and he was coughing and sleeping a lot. Its hard and upsetting seeing him like this. I'm doing all I can to help as I always have. Hes 83 shortly. All these emotional events and you just have to keep going.

I'm trying to find more information out about this cancer and what stage Dad is at. I did ask but didn't get an answer. Can anybody give me any advice and more information.

Thank you

Paul

LozzaT 17 days ago

Hello Paul.I'm so sorry to read about the awful experiences you and your family have had over the last few years And still, as you say, you just have to keep going because what else can you do? My husband has a terminal diagnosis, T4N3M1, which meant he can't have surgery because of the spread. However, he is on a palliative treatment pathway which, if successful, we're hoping, will give him at least the average 18-24 months. Without treatment the prognosis was 5-6 months. At the point we were told this, he was still eating regular meals but struggling with certain foods. From diagnosis to the start of treatment, eating was becoming increasingly difficult, with blockages, only alleviated with self-induced vomitting, and he lost a stone and a half in just 4 weeks. Unlike many people on this forum, he'd never had a problem with reflux or acid indigestion.

It was only in the letter from the hospital to the GP that we saw the staging. Has there been any letters sent to your Dad's GP to give you a clearer idea about his prognosis? It's good that he has a stent to help him get some nutrition. I hope your Dad is comfortable, for however long he is able to survive this terrible disease.

Xxx

GRANNY59 17 days ago

Hi Paul welcome to the forum and that sounds like you have had a really really rough time. Im wondering if your Dad would give you permission to speak to the Doctors re his prognosis or planned treatment as unless he does this they cant speak with you which is really sad as you are the one caring for him.

gail

southybfc 17 days ago in reply to LozzaT

Hi LozzaT,

Thank you for your reply. Sorry to hear about your husband. Hope the treatment is successful and he gets longer than 24 months. I will give the GPs a ring on Monday to try and find out what stage the cancer is at. Thank you for that. I watched footy with him this afternoon but he wasn't comfortable. He was coughing and kept falling asleep. They put him to bed at 5.15 and he said he was comfortable before I left. He's me Dad and my best mate and Id do anything for him. xxx

southybfc 17 days ago in reply to GRANNY59

Hi Gail,

Hope your okay. Its been hard but you have to keep going. I am going to ring the Doctors on Monday to find out certain things. I am his Power of Attorney so they should tell me. To be honest the three Doctors that came to see him before I got him admitted were not much use.

Thank you

Paul

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