Sad times following my husbands passing

Hello Everyone 

I have posted on this site before and found so many amazing friends, family, relatives who have been struck by this awful disease. 
My husband Michael was diagnosed on a date that will live with me forever, 24th November 2023, he was 60 years old, fit, healthy, never smoked, loved the gym, a builder, 

I took him to a&e feeling sick and tired, he had bloods done by the doctor a couple of days before all showing abnormal but left to wait for a doctor to call back on a Friday, We were told he had cancer on his liver 9.5 cm and they could see a bung at the bottom of the oesophagus. 
A week later following an endoscopy we were told he had a tumour, mets with liver and lymph nodes. We were given three months without chemo and 9 to 12 with. Michael started chemo in January 2024, with immunotherapy, but after round five in May his temperature dropped and was in hospital for a week with suspected sepsis, he had ascites, a build up of fluid and needed draining. More bad news followed the chemo had reduced the oesophageal cancer but the liver was growing still, we were told he would now be on palliative care only. 
Michael remained strong throughout but slowly there was a decline in his eating, even my ice cream, double cream, protein powder and fruit shakes were not going down as much. 
On 30th June I called out a district nurse as he appeared very slightly confused and had not been to the toilet, I was told he would likely pass away that night. I was broken, where had she got this from, he had been out of bed in the living room all day, spoken to visitors and then gone back to bed, he even asked me to write letters to our two children which was heartbreaking. Michael was not aware of what the nurse had said. 
without that district nurse things would have been so different, my children both stayed over and we took it turns to lay beside Michael throughout the night. 
At 4.45 we were having a full on conversation, I laugh now because it was like a carry on film, me getting out of bed trying to sit him up and getting back into bed, I done this four times, he said to me can you hear that rattling, he had been making an awful noise all night, secretion build up and a nurse again come out at 3am to give him an injection. Michael was going to go into Thorpe Hall hospice in the morning, but he got his final wish and died peacefully at home with me and the children beside him at 6.23 on the 1st July. 

I am sorry I have gone into some detail, but without this site I would have been so lost. His funeral was yesterday, everything was Leeds United he would have loved it. We raised £600 for MacMillan whom I will be eternally grateful for, at the beginning they sorted out Pip and a disability badge which saved me more stress. And without the nurse predicting his last night my children would not have been at home.
Nobody knows what the future holds, live life for today, be positive, if somethings not right challenge it. 

RIP Mick, we would have celebrated 32 years on the 18th July, together 39 Years. Take care people sending big hugs to you all.