How the world can change in 3 months…

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Just realised that it’s 3 months today since I received my OC diagnosis. Since then, I’ve had endoscopy, CT scan, PET scan, laparoscopy, 3 cycles of FLOT with all the attendant side effects and more blood tests and hospital appointments than I’ve had in the rest of my life put together. Sometimes it feels like I’m on a conveyor belt and not really in control of my own life any more. Sometimes, especially when I’m awake in the middle of the night, I look back at photographs from last summer when I was blissfully unaware of the wrecking ball that was about to enter my life. I know that, compared to other stories on here, I am lucky to be on the pathway that I am on with a chance of surgery to remove my tumour. I don’t even know how to respond to others here whose pathways just seem so bleak compared to my own and this almost makes me feel guilty when I get a bit down. I feel so sorry for those of you who have to face this with no curative outcome in sight or without the sort of care and support that I have from my wonderful wife. I hope that everyone can find some solace and advice from those on this forum who are treading, or who have trod, similar pathways. Love and best wishes to you all x

  • I’ll keep this brief…

    My diagnosis certainly was life changing.

    A new normal established eventuality a couple of years after surgery.

    I too suffer from survivor’s guilt.

    But it is fair to say I am happier than I was before.

    I hope this helps. 
    (Many more details and stories available on request.)

    Counting the days, making every day count.


  • Hi Cool Blue

    I just wanted to respond to your post, mainly because I don't have OC, I read and respond to the comments on here, and I often feel as if it is not my place to do so, because, I can only imagine what you are all going through, regardless of tumour type, curable, incurable, treatment type or indeed prognosis, all I have to go on is what I watch my husband go through, and what information and communication I have shared with others on this forum. Often I have found myself feeling guilty that it is not me, or even unsure that I have the right to reply. 

    So I think the important thing here, is that when someone posts, they get a reply, they know someone is listening, someone is virtually available, even if it is just to say I hear you. 

    We each have compassion and understanding, and it is that which makes this forum so good, we know some will have more difficulty or worse experiences than others, but they are able to reach out, at any time, day or night and for the most part, get some kind of response. 

    Good luck on your Journey and I hope you will find the ways you need to, to respond and share with other. Everyone has so much to offer.


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  • Hi Brent, it sounds from your staging that your cancer was caught very early. How has your eating been post-surgery?

  • Thankyou for your very thoughtful response. This forum has been a very useful source of information and encouragement for me. Hopefully I have also provided some useful help and advice for others

  • It was caught at stage 2.

    i have always liked food, but found that a lot of food didn’t like me after surgery. But after a while I found what I could eat and how much. Everyone is different though.
    Small portions no longer seem small. I snack a lot and my weight is about right.

    I am fortunate enough to be able to take holidays abroad, but insurance was a bit of a problem once I turned 70. Eating out in America was an experience; the size of their portions! Street food in Cambodia was something I’ll not risk again!

    We don’t do so much long haul these days. We love the architecture (and the food) of the Mediterranean countries. And travel insurance is cheaper.

    Happy to answer and recount experiences. (I certainly felt out of control during the build up to surgery, but trusting the surgical team helped). Recovery was slow and frustrating at times. However my outlook and happiness changed for the better.

    Counting the days, making every day count.


  • I too am on a similar journey to you - the bombshell that hit 3 months ago seems so surreal. I have had endoscopy, CT scan, PET scan, MRI to check the liver, laparoscopy, 4 cycles of FLOT (the last one has been horrendous - plus I have a chest infection and blood in the nose). Awaiting a resection in March 2024 - so hopefully this will be successful - I am scared - things are out of my hands and control. Good luck to everyone who is on their own personal journey! 

  • I am having a scan today, I have just finished the 4 FLOT session, so I am back at the waiting stage. I could only have shakes for two months and I can now eat normally so I am grabbing that positive change.

  • Hi Jenjen6

    I have had four FLOT treatments and now I am about to have a PET-CT scan. Hopefully, after having a preoperative assessment next week before the PET scan will be having a resection op in March - which has been booked. My eating has improved massively - I no longer have sticking food. Fingers crossed your eating continues to act normally for you. I have my everything crossed for you.

  • On my other thread last FLOT there two others, so 4 of us are at the same place, finished FLOT, scan, OP. Positive Vibes for us all over the next couple of weeks. Everything  crossed also Fingers crossed