The story i didnt want to write.

Hi all,

You would of most likely seen myself and my mom angie post on here over the last 18 months. For a recap, my dad was diagnosed with stage 4 oesophagus cancer in December 2023, spread to distant lymph nodes and liver. No operation available due to spread and palliative chemotherapy given. Started with 6 round of capox which wasnt a huge success as he was back to a liquid diet by the end and had lost 7 stone. He was in agony with his back so was offered 10 sessions of radiotherapy in September 24, for pain management, but even though it took its toll as it was rough for him it had the greatest success. By the end he was eating normal and pain virtually gone. In December 24 we was told to start using palliative care for pain management as the pain in his back started creeping back. This was a game changer as it helped with the pain massively. In January 25 he started Paclitaxel. He managed just over 4 cycles. By this time we had a CT scan in April where we were told it had spread to his hip a few lesions were present. My dad had a chest infection also which alongside chemotherapy he was struggling. The pain in his hip worsened to the point of being unbearable. No amount of pain relief was helping so his oncologist allowed one strong blast of radiotherapy which happened nearly 2 weeks ago. Sunday just gone, my mom had to call the red card as he couldn't stand the pain no longer and was admitted to the oncology unit in QE. MRI was taken and here it showed that the bone cancer had spread further, one to his rib, more in his hip and one on his bottom of his back but none affecting the spine. He had inflammation around the bottom of his back which flared due to radiotherapy which was causing the pain. He was given steroids and was discharged the next day. On top of all this we recieved the news that  his lesion on his face was actually a spread also from his oesophagus and wasnt a secondary cancer. 

Today we had his oncologist appointment. He walked to the car with a smile on his face as he could walk without his stick and it was the first day the pain was manageable and he was able to have a great night sleep so was feeling much better. We were told that nomore treatment would be worthwhile having as the bone mets had spread in random places and its time now to have quality of life. As you can imagine, even though me and mom knew this day would come and today we may hear the news that no more treatment would be given it was a stab to our heart and we are heart broken. 

The worst thing about all this is the fact his oesophagus tumour is still stable as he is eating and drinking normally, its just that this nasty beast has decided to branch off. 

My dad is still positive and keeps telling us that he is feeling good and he is still fighting but me and mom just know the end will come sooner than we would of liked. 

We know we are so lucky to have had him for these extra 18 months and he has fought so very hard and I just couldn't be more proud of him. 

From the bottom of my heart I wish everyone on here the very best of luck and my love goes out to you all. Its such a cruel disease and its heartbreaking watching our loved ones go through this and to see them suffer. 

Its our time to make so many memories as a family and relish every moment we have together. Times like this it makes us realise how precious life is. 

My heart breaks all over again writing this as I cant imagine him not being in my life. But I know I need to be strong for my mom and my brother.

God bless to you all. 

Keep fighting and stay positive.

Kayleigh and Angie xxxx