How to support partner who doesn’t see a reason to go on

Hi everyone,

My partner (31) was given a terminal diagnosis at the beginning of January, he has unfortunately had only bad news ever since. Now we are being told chemo is no longer on the table for him and this was the only treatment offered, so he is dealing with the fact this is now as he puts it ‘the beginning of the end’. 

He was given 3 months in January so we are now really on borrowed time. He is in a constant state of sickness and pain despite the meds and support from the palliative care team. He’s barely eating a tin of soup a day, so is very weak and frail. He has been in and out of the hospice over the last 2 months but is now at home with me. He doesn’t want to see anyone else apart from me, is not interested in anything as he’s in pain and hates the way he looks. 

I’m reaching out to anyone who has experience with how to deal with a partner who (quite understandably) no longer sees the point in living anymore as to live only means to suffer. I want to be able to support him the best way I can, so any experience or advice would be greatly appreciated. 


  • Hi Penny, what an awful diagnosis to get. My worst nightmare. I have been diagnosed with OC but have not yet had my first meeting to discuss results and scans.

    I would have thought that some form of chemo/radiation or immunotherapy would have been tried rather than nothing. 

    You both must have been devastated. We all know that we have to go sometime but living with the knowledge that you only have weeks to live is massive and so emotionally stressful.

    I hope you have had the chance to discuss and arrange things. All you can do really is be there for your partner, reassuring him as much as possible. I would have thought a hospice and palliative care should help relieve his suffering.

    Know that others are out here thinking of you and wishing you the best.

  • Hi Penny

    My heart goes out to you both and i dont really know what to say as i am still waiting for my husbands prognosis. It must be so hard for you watching and feeling you cant help but you will be helping just being there for him and loving him. He must be so worried about what will happen if he’s not there for you, reassure him you will be ok and he’ll always be in your heart. Maybe you could ring MacMillan to chat to and they would be able to advise you on anything you ask them and in the meantime this group is here for you to speak to and support you as best we can. Make the most of this time, God Bless you both x

  • Hello Penny

    I am so sorry to read this, not only that Chemo is no longer an option, but also the tough decisions and experiences that you are going through as your husband steadly resigns himself to no longer being. 

    Can I suggest that you give the Macmillan team a call on the phone, using the number in my signature, they will able to offer you a world of experience in how to support your husband whilst also taking care of you. 

    Being there for your husband every step of the way as you have been is possibly all that you can do, it will be extremely tough on you both, and I hope you will call the team, they are there for you in ways that the forum would not be able to be. 

    Take care and reach out whenever you need.  We are here for you too. 


    Call the helpline for free on 08088080000, 8am to 8pm everyday.
    Tomorrow is not promised but it always has potential. Aim for your potential!