My world

So sorry to hear your news. 
I can’t imagine how you must be feeling just now as the numbness of the past few months is wearing off. But although Neil had your heart there were and other people in your life who are still there for you. Try to connect with them and find joy and laughter without guilt; Neil would want you to live on and enjoy life again, albeit in a different way. 
it’s still early days and you will find a way to remember him without the pain that undoubtedly you feel just now.

The worst thing about grief is the unnecessary guilt. Get past that and you will find joy in memories, in old photos and places you’ve been together. Everyone finds their own path through bereavement, I hope you find yours, though it will take a while I’m sure.

Thinking of you.

Hi

So sorry to hear your news it must be so sad for you, you may find the following group will have more support and help for you, I'm sure I speak for many of us this type of news no matter how we say we are prepared is always distressing when it comes.

https://community.macmillan.org.uk/cancer_experiences/bereaved-family-and-friends-forum/

We are all here for you if need any support

Take care

Tony