New here, not sure on options

Hi Miz81

It can be very hard to reach out to others, especially in a forum such as this, but you truly have come to the right place. People here have a wealth of experience, knowledge and understanding and are always ready to chat when online.

It is  difficult to answer your questions based solely on your post above because there are different tumour types and many different treatments. The good news is that surgery is being considered, although that is a very scary thought and one that your partner is currently unsure of, I am sure you will begin to feel more at ease as those guys here who have undergone OC surgery in the past relay their experiences to you.

Once you have more information from the oncologist regarding tumour type, staging and expectations it will be easier for you both to make decisions on how things can move forwards...for now I wish your partner every success with the chemo and hope you get the answers you need soon.

There are carers forums here also which you may find personally helpful. 

I am also happy to chat if that helps

Take Care

Lowe'

Hi thank you for your respones 

Although the team have not said directly to us looking at the staging we are starg 2b the tuma is tuching the outer layer and is in in the near by nodes, 

We are happy surgary is still an option and they are doing all they can to get him there. However we feel as he alrrady has other health issues it may be a bigger risk. No one has told us how long he could possibly be around for if he dosnt have surgary but the surgeon are very bleek on his out cime if we do have surgery, 

Its very difficult to make the decision when there isblittle information on what the out look could be, we just want honeat answers if we are only gonna get a year or 2 with out surgery then we need to know becouse right now the surgeons dont think he will make 6months post opp

Its so scery all we want is some idea of what we are dealing with so we can plan how to spend our time 

Im sorry if im coming across as ranting im just very scard for my children 

Thank you again 

Miz

Don't you worry about sounding as if you are ranting, I know how scary this is for you and have experience myself of just not knowing what the outcome is going to be.

My Husband was diagnosed in May, he is not suitable for surgery we have been told, had he not started chemo, then it is the opinion of the oncologist that, he would already have passed.... So its fine to rant and natural to be scared.

Even with treatment my husbands current prognosis is not good...but that is only a prognosis, he is not taking it on board and he is doing everything he can mentally and physically to fight this awful disease......that said, there are several people on this forum who have had fantastic success with surgery. 

Your partner as you say has other conditions which surgeons will take into consideration, but I personally think that a great part of the recovery is the mindset of the patient, and that will be the area that your partner can focus on.

We have written a blog called Facing The Future Together   https://community.macmillan.org.uk/blogs/b/facing-the-future-together  although my husbands diagnosis is a bit different to that of your partners, there may be some ideas in the blog that will help you both focus...

If you would like to add me as a friend or follow me, you are welcome too...I may not have all the answers you need but I am happy to chat 

Lowe'

Hi miz, I'm a wee bit confused that you say  your husband would maybe only have 6 months if he had surgery. I don't know what his other medical conditions are,or what age he is. I was diagnosed with T3 N2 M0 staging in July 2016. I wouldn't have considered myself as fit, I had been a smoker for about 45 years and I was 57 years of age. I had lost a lot of weight, about 5 stones (32kg). I decided not to have chemotherapy and radiotherapy, I went for the surgery only. When I was coming around after the surgery they discovered that I had an irregular heartbeat, I have been on digoxin since. So I have just passed 4 years since the surgery and have been enjoying life. I didn't return to work as a self employed instructor and examiner due to ongoing random food dumping issues, not serious but unpredictable. Getting into a positive state of mind really does help. Feel free to ask anything but I would say that I was told by my consultant that surgery was the best option. Good luck and kind regards Frank.

Thank you for you response i will try and take a look at your blog 

We are just very worried and dont know what to do for the best its so hard not knowing what will happen next  

Miz x

Hi frank thank you for your response 

Im so pleased you are doing well

My partners drs have said due to his other conditions (fybromyalgia, copd, arthritis and severl other things) the fitness test he had to do indercated his body is in extremely poor condition and would put him in very high risk of post opp complications and could possibly not make it past 6 months post opp.

We are currently doing chemo and a fitness program with a few to surgary

But after being toold the risks he is not sure he wants the opp its such a difficult decision when we dont have the information needed 

Thank you again for you input its very helpfull and i wish you well and you path 

Miz