What questions to ask at 1st meeting with Oncologist when surgery is not an option?

Hi Nellybean,

Diagnosis is hard news to take. Even if you suspect, you're never ready. 

Your oncology consultant and team will have a plan with a first course of action to take. They will have secondary etc plans. 

The consultant will explain the plan. Be prepared for them to be brutally open about the potential side effects. They have to disclose everything. 

There will likely be more scans and tests. Not scary but take waiting time. 

When I use you I mean you and your husband as one whole. 

We are second time around. Both initial consultations a specialist nurse was in the room with us and we had opportunity to talk to them while trying to get out heads around things. 

The support is there. Or here. 

Need to update on mine later. There are good days and others. 

Fingers crossed you get a positive treatment plan tomorrow. 

Keep breathing. X

Hi Nellybean

Sierraoscar gave some great advice.  

I am non operable and it was initially disappointing when I found that I would not be a surgical candidate.  I finished FLOT and I am now on paclitaxel and Ramucirumab (Cryamza).  You will hear a lot that every cancer is different and will respond in different ways, this is true. Because of this fact knowing the exact trajectory is almost impossible, just be prepared to adapt.  Dont go down internet rabbit holes it will scare you and give you stats that will make you fear the worse.  

My advice would be to listen actively with the oncologist, write stuff down as you will forget and kick yourself, ask questions and dont be afraid to share your fears.  Its important to build a relationship with your Oncologist and medical team, if you do not have 100% confidence that you are on the right path you can ask for a second opinion.  I have been really lucky with my care but aware that its not the same for everyone. 

You and your husband are still in the fight.  Your Oncologist will talk you through the next stage, chemo, immunotherapy, radiation or a combination.  As stated you will have tests which will help decide the best course of action and when you start to check on how effective it is.  

it cant be underestimated how important it is to maintain an appetite, food is vital to staying strong and being able to withstand whichever treatment you have.  if your husband can eat well, sleep well and maintain positivity through this journey it will make a big difference. In that you are on this forum already tells me that he has someone in his corner, this is priceless.  

You and your husband will find this site invaluable, you are not alone. 

Regards

Richard