Incurable and inoperable

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So yesterday my husbands diagnosis changed to incurable and inoperable Cry

The staging was T3 N3 M1

Four days after our first meeting , they have said that it's in lymph nodes in  the stomach . 

we do have a 2nd opinion at the Marsden on Wednesday .  Drugs mentioned are capecitabine and Oxaliplatin. Also potentially pembrolizumab and potentially Tradtuzumab.

Feeling pretty anxious this morning , my husband has taken the news really badly . I'm trying to give optimism, I can't help that . I'm an optimistic person . 

They said they need to stabilise and try to shrink . I'm hopeful the will start feeling better once treatment starts as I've heard good things . 

 I just hate the doom and gloom at the meetings , it's like anything I say they shut me down to not build any hope , I get it , but it's so rough . 

Luckily my family are supportive ,father in law is a really great  support system and also people on this forum .  

Living nightmare 

 x

  • Hi Tiff

    Thank you for your kind words, the good stories need to be shared and I’m so glad ours has given you a boost. 

    Do let us know how you get on tomorrow x

  • Will do , absolutely 

    • Hope all good
    Ok then good
  • Ahh chick, I can relate to this..my Dad is stage 4 terminal..although his hasn't spread..its so hard as an optimistic person to find a place for it without offending some people as they feel your opimism is patronising.. its our cope mechanism so you stick with it Heart.. i can imagine your husbands reeling as his diagnosis changed so quickly, but dont stop being you, thats why he married you in the first place..wishing you both all the best x️

  • So finally a little positivity from the Marsden , my husband saw surgeon called Mr Asif Chaudry. He said he can operate as long as the chemo and hopefully immunotherapy does its thing . Seeing my husband looking more alive today has been everything. After 2 days ago being told no chance of surgery ever! It sounds crazy but his mental health is what I struggled with the most.  It's really scared me. I'm so happy we went for a second opinion . I couldn't face going with him today due the constant doom and gloom we've received . Husband back at Marsden on Saturday for a PET scan . Surgeon was quite confused that's he's never been offered one but staged at stage 4. The surgeon also said there is no chance of anything working without being positive mentally. That's really has resonated with my husband tonight. 

    Tiff

    xx

  • That's much better news Tiff, as I said before it sounded very strange to me that the other lot hadn't even considered operating!

    Here's wishing you all the best outcome possible, get that chemo in him and evict that uninvited little squatter!

    Anthony x

  • I couldn’t love this more Tiff, ️ now bring on that chemo Heart️

  • OMG that has set me off crying I’m so pleased for you both !

    sending love and hugs 

    Tricia x

  • Hi Tiff

    I’m so pleased you have had some positive news, it must make such a huge difference and hopefully your husband can now see a way forward.  I’m surprised he has not had a PET scan yet but Mr Chaudry (I have just looked him up!) will want the fullest possible picture, he’s a pioneer in the treatment and surgery for OC so your husband is in very good hands.

    Keep feeding it everything it hates (my husband’s mantra) and I hope Saturday goes ok. x