A year later

 Morning, CT1234. 

I am Jamie one of the Champions. I am so sorry to read about the loss of your husband in a short space of time. I read you are waiting for counselling which I am hoping wont be too long and it might be worth giving them a call to see how long the wait might be. 

I noticed you have joined a few groups here but wonder if this group may offer support in the meantime, I have included the link here Bereaved spouses and partners forum 

Grief goes through many stages, so I do understand how you are feeling and having to keep going for your teenage children, work and the wider family to. I think you could give the helpline a call, they are really good at listening and really supportive. The number is open 8am to 8pm 7 days a week.

This might be some comfort whilst you wait for the counselling. Sometimes just to have a person to talk with who is not close to us can be a great benefit. 

Best wishes, 

Jamie 

Hello CT1234

I am so sorry for your loss and al tat you are going through. It is not easy and it will never be the same. I lost my husband exactly 2 years back. March 12th was his 2nd anniversary. I hv one teenager and one in early 20s. I also work full time. So I can completely relate to what you are going through. Its is very overwhelming not just with anniversaries but also with all life events. 
I did go to hospice counselling and even with me they took a long time to get back. I think they generally don’t give counselling to the first few months and then they put you in the queue. It will be good to reach out to them. I also got counselling for my children privately through the hospice counsellor. She wasn’t able to accommodate my teenager in the hospice schedule. I would also say be kind to yourself. Do not expect things to get back to normal. Take it easy. There will be days when you will hardly manage to do anything. I read few books which helped a lot. Let me know if you are interested, I can share the titles. 

take care dear. Sending you hugs and lots of positivity 

HI CT1234

sorry to hear that you are still waiting for counselling from your local hospice. Can I suggest giving them a call to see how much longer they think it will be before they can see you? I had counselling through our local hospice after G died  in Oct 2023. I'll be honest- it helped and it didn't help. Eventually after about 7 or 8 sessions I found I was getting anxious about going so knew it was time to draw a line under it. It's not for everyone but definitely worth a try. Does your employer offer any wellbeing support?  That could be another route in.

As Jamie696 suggests it might be an idea to call the helpline to see if they can offer any support

I wrote a community blog for MacMillan about grief that might resonate.  Here's the link

“Grief comes in waves”: Coping with the loss of a partner - Macmillan Online Community

A GBM journey is a total emotional rollercoaster journey for all involved so please don't be too hard on yourself for feeling the way you do. It's natural and all part of the grieving process. 

For now though I'm sending you a huge virtual hug and lots of love and light. You're not alone. We're here for you so please reach out anytime.

love n hugs

Wee Me xx

Thank you so much for the forum and helpline numbers both of which i think can really help. Appreciate it so much. Thank you for being there x

Thank you. It's good to hear your perspective, thank you so much. I would be very interested in the books you have read x

• Thank you so much. I will have a read of your blog and will also find out the time frames for the hospice counselling.  There is support at work so I'll look into that if the hospice wait is fairly long. Thank you for being there, it's a horrible journey made better by connecting with those in similar situations  x

We are all here for you. You are not alone and like you have read from the other posts, grief is complicated and comes with many different twists and turns too. And Wee me has mentioned her blog too. 

Just keep chatting and talking anytime and some day it will work out. But there is no time on grief, and this can be your own personal space to share with others who are, have and still feeling the loss of a loved one. x

Best wishes, 

Jamie  

It’s ok to be not ok by Megan Devine

Wintering by Katherine May