Hello everyone
I haven’t posted since my first one back in September shortly after my husbands traumatic Grade 4 glioblastoma diagnosis. He is just coming to the end of his 4 week break following chemotherapy and radiotherapy. He starts his chemotherapy next Thursday for a 6 month cycle.
He is doing remarkably well but is very often tired and doesn’t feel like doing much. I miss our times together ‘pre-tumour’ … the simple pleasures of a cuppa and a chocolate bar in the evening when the boys are in bed 
️ The catch up of work talk at the end of the day (we are/were both headteachers) … simple pleasures … I often wonder if they will return. He has been in bed this evening since 8.30pm, our boys are fast asleep … some days I just feel lonely ….
Im scared of what the future will bring although I keep this to myself as much as I can. People marvel at how ‘brave’ we are and positive … we have no choice right? It’s a tough ride.
We haven’t had a scan since the end of the first phase of treatment but know this has been requested … it’s scary waiting ..
Since his diagnosis we have written our Wills and put in place LPA’s …. He wants to be ‘prepared’ …
Sending you all love as we walk the course of this journey together .. our own steps and our own route but all up and down and just blimmin’ tough. Take care x
I totally understand the lonliness. My husband is on borrowed time, just palliative care and he sleeps a lot. When awake he doesn’t speak much.I miss our old life so much and wish this had not happened. We were a normal happy, active couple until this tumour reared its ugly head in August. Now our world is in pieces, relying on medication, masses of equipment in the home, constant visits from nurses, hospice, carer. Everyone around us is planning for Christmas, I just can’t think what we will do this year.
Thanks for the update Sunflower73. Remember that the effects of the initial 6 weeks of treatment linger in the body for several weeks after the last session. It seems a lifetime ago now, but it took G at least a month after the 6 weeks ended before his energy levels began to return to near normal.
I hope you both get to enjoy those cuppa and chocolate bar evenings again soon.
You're right it is "blimmin' tough" but you will get through this, Its an emotional rollercoaster ride but remember we are all here for you. Reach out anytime.
Sending you a huge virtual hug and lots of positive energy. Stay strong
love n hugs
Wee Me xx
Macmillan Support Line - 0808 808 00 00, 7 days a week between 8am-8pm
So sorry to hear this Evajean x I found myself crying the other week, after getting home from watching our two boys (10 and 12) play rugby and saying ‘I just want us to be normal again’ … sometimes I think people are looking at me, feeling sorry for me …. Standing on my own without my husband by my side … where he would normally be. I wish I could utter words to help you Evajean, I hear you and I feel you Take care and we are here for you x ️
I feel this a lot - just want us to be normal again. My wife is exactly a year into her diagnosis now and is still very tired a lot of the time. The last year has seen our life turned on its head - though I know we're lucky that in other ways my wife is well and able to function. There is a gnawing sadness at what has been lost so far, and anxiety about what may happen. 
. Look after yourself and enjoy your Sunday xx
