newbie

Hi Sarah

Sounds like you are all going through a lot, I hope you manage to have a restful Christmas break and I send hugs to your family xx

Hiya Tee.

I hear what your saying, its been as soon as I open my eyes until I shut them again, just takes over your whole being.

I was doing well with getting my head around the chemo and the radiotherapy, but after my visit to the mount Vernon, I was told im stage 2b and that I would also need the brachytherapy and need to stay in hospital for four days, iv been back to mortified. braking down crying, felt really down. trying to find away to put a positive spin on it, It will just take me a bit of time to get my head around it, so today I found a pre-surgery mediation to help calm my anxiety, The hospital will call me for my next appointment in the next 7-10 days, when I have to go in for about six hours, to get sized up for everything, then they said my plan would start in the next few weeks. so still a little time to get the meditation done. My son has gone back to Brighton, until my next hospital visit, I feel its been hard on him, just finding out and coming straight to hospital appointments, I don't like seeing his sad face looking at me. keep checking if im ok. its hard going isn't it. 

im glad your concentrating on the girls and having fun with the Christmas vibe, making good memories that's what its all about, im not a big fan of Christmas, made it special for my son when he was younger, now he's all grown up, we just enjoy a nice dinner together, with a few of my single mates. I guess they will have to sort it out themselves this year, as I probably wont be that hungry, lol  if im having the treatment.

Well you keep smiling and taking lots of pictures and have fun with your girls, xx 

enjoy meeting Santa lol chat soon.xx 

Hi Sarah.

its not a problem, im not usually on these sort of sites, so I don't really know the rules, so thank you, is there anyway of chatting in here in private? 

sorry to read about your in-laws its tough ole world we live in, just try to enjoy the time you do have with them. and I hope they put something decent on the t.v  this year.

can I ask how did you deal with your anxiety through the whole process? xx

Thanks Tee2023 Ah well, it’s only one day! 

Sarah xx

Hi Jane

Yes, you can chat privately with someone via the private message function. Click on the name of the person you want to chat with and in the top right of their page you will see a button with “connect”. Click that and it sends a friend request to that person for them to accept. Then you can send them a personal message.

I had different ways of trying to deal with anxiety, from the Headspace app on my phone, to simple distractions like binge watching series on tv, to colouring in! Sounds silly, but adult colouring in requires a lot of concentration on detailed patterns so I find it very absorbing and it keeps my mind off things.

I think probably the most important thing is trying to keep in the moment, and Mindfulness is good for this-again you need to concentrate and there are lots of free apps on the phone. The most difficult thing is trying to stop your mind from racing ahead with thoughts of what’s to come, where the unknown increases our anxiety. 

When my cancer came back, I had the experience of my first diagnosis and how I dealt with it to draw on, and after the initial shock, and knowing how serious it was, I think overall I coped better. I definitely tried to take things a day at a time. I was in a lot of pain, so I concentrated on trying to manage that, and just getting through each day. I did my very best to push away any negative thoughts by saying to myself, “what if this works out well” rather than “what if this doesn’t work”. At my first diagnosis, I told myself every single day when I woke up-“I will be well”. It became my mantra! I did that again with my second diagnosis. 

I found I had to train myself to control my anxiety to avoid it spiralling. I also had just been put on medication for anxiety, coincidentally right before my first diagnosis, which took the edge off. After my diagnosis my dr recommended staying on these tablets which I did for 18 months. 

I couldn’t have brachytherapy for my stage 2b as I had a pulmonary embolism the night before I was due to go in for it and I was devastated. It is considered to be the final big hit for this cancer and I was desperate to have it, but I wasn’t allowed as it involved a general anaesthetic for the rod insertion and I was told it could kill me. I often wondered if my cancer would have come back if I’d been able to have it, but nothing I could do about it. Try not to have it in your mind at the moment, just concentrate on getting through the chemoradiation as the next challenge. One thing at a time!

Sarah xx

Hi Sarah, 

thanks for that Sarah I will take  it one day at a time, try not to get to ahead of myself.

thanks for the info about the chat, I will give it a go, and maybe the apps,

Did you use any body lotion when you had your radiotherapy,? the hospital called me today, to go in next week for 3 scans, she said when i go for radiotherapy to use a non perfume body lotion two hours before i have it, to help prevent sores. she said maybe E45 cream, if you did use it or something else what would you recommend? 

many thanks 

Jane xx

Hi Jane

The hospital gave me a big bottle of Diprobase which is an unperfumed lotion. To be honest I never used it anywhere near where the radiotherapy was targeted as I never had any redness or sores, even with 32 sessions. I think I was very lucky in that respect.  I dId use  it on the dry skin I suffer on my legs and it was great for that!

Joking aside, the important thing is not to use stuff on your skin which has not had the go ahead from the radiotherapy nurses as some things contain ingredients which are not compatible with radiation. For example when I developed really bad cystitis as treatment went on I was only given aquaphor cream to use, which did help a little. But after I finished radiotherapy they were able to give me a much more effective cream which was 100 times better! It just wasn’t possible to have it during treatment. 

I’d just use an unperfumed lotion as suggested, nothing fancy, but don’t assume that you will get sores. Best to reduce the chances of that happening of course, but you may be like me and escape it.

I’m assuming it’s your planning scan you’re going for next, so they can plan your precise treatment? I was given 3 tiny “tattoos”-just little marks on my skin for the lining up of the machine, but that may have changed. One thing I wasn’t warned about was that you need an empty bowel and no wind in there if possible! I was sent home with suppositories without the scan being done because my bowel wasn’t empty so it was a wasted trip for me and I had to go back another day. 

Sarah xx

Hi Sarah

thanks for that, yes it is the scans for planning, and yes still have to have the tattoos, are the permanent?

and yeh she said about the empting of bowels and suppositories. did the tattoo hurt?

well hopefully I wont get the sores maybe i should go with the E45 cream she suggested.

cheers Sarah xx

Hi Jane-no, the tattoos don’t hurt. They are literally making a tiny pinprick mark on your skin for each. Difficult even to see them in my case. It’s the equivalent of having the tip of a ballpoint pen mark your skin, honestly nothing. They lasted a long time, but I can’t see them now, although one would have been where my surgery scar now is. The other 2, one on each hip, are gone.

Sarah xx. 

lovely thanks for that Sarah xx