Are there any ladies or groups for stage 4b cervical cancer I could connect to/with?

Thankyou for adding me Carla04 :-) I am here if you ever want to talk. Going back to work on wednesday but just part time. I had already started that for a few weeks before lockdown came back in here in the isle of man.

X

That's great.  I hope it goes really well for you.  Will be lovely for you to get a little bit of normality back.  I work from home as a medical secretary but part time (well a lot less than part time really at the moment).  I am lucky it is very flexible and another secretary is covering when I need.  It just gives me some typing to do now and then to distract me a bit not to mention money.  It is isolating though as still don't go out but then with Covid no one does!  Have a lovely weekend with your amazing news.  x

Hi,

My mum has just been diagnosed with cervical cancer stage 4. I am heartbroken. I cant get her to eat. She is eating next to nothing. Today I made her organic chicken vegetables soup and then blended it and she hadnt eaten all day and she only took a few sips of it. Her appetite has really gone downhill. I am really worried because she is already tired and weak and they offered radiotherapy and some chemotherapy which will be starting soon and from what I understand this makes you really tired and weak. Does anyone have any food ideas? 

Thanks

Hi, It is really hard to eat in this situation and it puts a lot of stress on when the family is trying to force you to eat, however well-meaning.  I have been in tears because I cannot eat and people are trying to force me.  It takes time to adjust to this situation and unless you are actually the patient it is impossible to understand.  My family loves me and doesn't want me to starve but ultimately it is not them doing this.  Personally, I switched to a vegan diet, low GI which has made the situation even harder.  Diet is a real problem and during Chemotherapy, it is very hard but I think mental health is just as important and your mum sounds much like I was when diagnosed.  It truly is just unbelievable to be in this situation and is everyone's worst nightmare.  I would try vegetable blended soups and smoothies (fruit and veg) as drinking can be easier.  I was told that as long as I was properly hydrated then short-term non-eating would not be too much of a problem.  I have lost a stone and a half in the past two months and so I am not a good example of what to do.  I am just saying that I understand how your mum feels and why she cannot eat and I think that for some of us it is a normal reaction.  The chemo makes you sick as well which again makes food very difficult and in the end, food can become like an enemy that everyone is talking about all the time.   I totally understand that you are trying to care for your mum and I did the same when my father was ill but now that I am ill, I look back and think of how much pressure I put on him to eat when he said he couldn't and I understand and wish I had understood.  When you can eat, it is impossible to understand that someone cannot just eat something small but sometimes you just can't.  Please don't take this as criticism in any way - it is not meant at all in that way.  Your concern is nature and loving but I am sure your mum will eat when she feels able to.   In the meantime, I find liquids easier and frozen smoothies are soothing on the stomach (ie made with frozen fruit).  I hope it helps and I hope your mum is feeling a bit better soon.  This is a great forum for her to be on where there are people with positive stories which really help.

Thanks so much for your reply. Yeah I was reading and watched videos about andriogenic food so thats why I went shopping yesterday and then made her some soup. I got fruit too to make her some smoothies. Frozen is a good idea. Next time il get some frozen fruit.

My mum has mental health problems she suffers with schizophrenia so this makes it more difficult to manage, ie she is a heavy smoker and even with the diagnosis she is not giving up, I have got her some nicotine patches but she still continues to smoke even with wearing the patches. She was bleeding heavily after the biopsy and because the GP previously told her its okay to be bleeding (because she was bleeding and on antibiotics for a urine infection) she thought it was normal to be bleeding and refused me taking her to hospital even though i was going there everyday cleaning blood up from all over everything. Then after her becoming dizzy i finally called an ambulance and they kept her in overnight because she needed a blood transfusion, blood count had dropped to 85, they discharged with tablets to stop the bleeding and iron tablets for enimia. Dispite me being on the phone almost everyday telling the GP that pure blood is coming out they didnt really seem to care much. 

With her eating Its just that she used to be a size 18/20 and now she is around a size 10/12 so this really is difficult to watch. I have some good news today I called her this morning from the shop and asked if she felt like eating something and she said yeah she was starving so I took her scrambled egg on toast and she ate all of it. Im so happy because she only managed a few sips of soup yesterday.

I think something like this group would be beneficial to her to post on (because she doesnt have any friends at all) but she doesnt have a smart phone and isnt able to write a text out on her phone. She isnt very good at all with technology. 

I have one more question about the treatment. Once she is having the treatment from what I understand it makes you weaker and tired and where she lives she has 3 flights of stairs to go up and down with no lift. I think this is going to be quite a problem? Because the other day she was struggling for breath going up when we came back from the hospital and the treatment hasnt even started yet. Has anyone been moved by the council after being diagnosed/having treatment?

Thanks x

Re the stairs, I think chemo affects everyone individually.  My friend worked from day 5 onwards for her cycles but my second session just gone I was in bed for 9 days and could not walk anywhere.  Even now I am out of breath going up the stairs.  It has scared me quite a bit for the next session coming up next week.  If your mum is also stage 4 I would imagine she is having the same chemo as I have and it is aggressive.  Usually 6 sessions but three first and then a PET CT to see if it is working.  I don't know anything about getting moved but I did contact the council regarding not working now and getting help with benefits, council tax, etc., and they were very helpful.  Macmillian also liaise with benefits people to assist.  I couldn't cope with it at all as there were lots off forms to complete with difficult questions but the Universal Tax Credit people liaised direct with Macmillian to deal with it.  I would give the housing people a call and ask.  This site is great to help with not feeling alone right now with the diagnosis.  There was a lovely lady last week who posted that she is cancer free one year after being in the same position and me and your mum.  That is amazing to hear.  I'm not great at technology either on a phone but on a computer, this site is easy to use.  People are kind and helpful.  You can friend people as well although I haven't worked out how to do that yet!  I hope that helps.

Good morning Carla, I hope you had a good weekend. I am back to work this wednesday as the shielding has now been lifted for us today. Only part time for now so just going to do 9 hours a week and see how things go from there. X

Good morning.  That is great news.  I am so pleased for you. With the past year you have had plus Covid restrictions, that will be a welcome relief.   I was a little fed up at the weekend as I had been feeling much better but then felt ill again Saturday afternoon and Sunday.  I guess I expect to get a bit better every day that I get further away from the last chemo session but that doesn't seem to be the case.  It is a bit up and down the second and third week.  Some good days and some not great.  Did you find the same?

Carla

Hi Carla. Just looked back through my treatment record and I have only documented the first two cycles which I believe for me where the worst with side effects. Mainly i would feel not so bad for the first 4 days but then between days 5 and 12 seemed to be when it hit me. Feeling nauseous tired and sore bones and heartburn. Then after  day 13 or 14 i seemed to pretty much be back to almost normality apart from feeling a little weak. As far as i remember the following cycles didnt seem to be so bad. I have also put down that i had low moods in first two cycles which i do remember. We put that down to the steroids which i was taking. I am sorry your weekend has been a bit up and down but I hope you find the next cycles that follow are easier for you. I just kept looking ahead thinking this will soon all be over and the last cycle was such a relief. All in all the time seemed to go very quick and before I knew it all the cycles were complete.

Jane

Hi Jane  Thank you that really helps because the oncologist said it will get worse as we go and if it is worse than this past one I don't know what I will do. The last one was truly awful - even today I'm out of breath walking up the stairs.  I hate it as I was quite active before.  I think not eating much because of feeling or being sick has made me weak as well - I have lost over a stone and a half already so I'm sure that makes things harder work.  Someone else said that it goes quickly as well which seems impossible right now but is really inspiring.  I do hope so. She also said her first cycles and her last one were the worst with the middle ones not as bad so interesting. 

Thank you for asnwering. x