After a rollercoaster few months following a secondary breast cancer diagnosis initially in my lymph nodes I was told this had cleared after only eight sessions of chemotherapy but I was then told that I had small brain metastasis so needed a different chemotherapy to try and target those. After a scan in February I was told that these had cleared and I am currently NEAD/remission. I am now on targeted chemotherapy every four weeks for as long as it keeps working and three monthly scans. Whilst I know I should feel fortunate to be in this position I am in a constant state of terror and panic. I can't live any sort of life as I live in fear of the cancer returning, I haven't been able to watch any TV, read a book or do anything that resembles normality. I struggle to get through each day and then it starts again the next day. The side effects of the chemotherapy are pretty brutal and whilst I am alive I am definitely not living. I would be grateful to hear any positive stories from people living with this diagnosis that will give me some hope that things can improve and it is possible to get some enjoyment again from life instead of feeling as though you are living with a death sentence hanging over you.
