Difficulty in staying positive

I am sorry you find yourself here. It’s completely understandable to be thunderstruck and full of negative thoughts.

I have a different type of breast cancer (TNBC) and initially thought it was early stage. Small lump found on routine mammogram, no lymph node involvement. Because TNBC is aggressive, I was advised to have chemo after my surgery. This led to an abdominal infection and a CT scan to rule out or confirm diverticulitis. Secondary spread to my liver was a surprise finding. I was beyond devastated, feared my life was close to an end. That was 2022 and I am still here. I initially sought out a bit of counselling and went on a mindfulness course, to try to help me deal with the negative thoughts. It did become easier when I had treatment, although that’s not been without its ups and downs. It mostly sits in the back of my mind now, except when the quarterly scan and oncology review come back round. Treatments have advanced so much and many of us live goos lives. I try to think of it as a chronic condition that has to be managed. 

Thanks for your reply, it helps to hear other people are experiencing similar. Take care

Hi, 

I’ve just turned 50 and was diagnosed in Jan with grade 3 Er and Pr + and HR2 neg breast cancer with lymph nodes. Just found out that also now spread to liver 2 nodules in one area. I’m not coping well. Such a shock and delivered so badly by registrar who basically said you’ve got months and here’s some info on the drugs we are going to give you. Really struggling to find any hope. How did you cope when first diagnosed. I’ve got two gorgeous teenage boys and the thought of not seeing them grow up is too much to cope with. Any help and hope welcome 

Sorry to jump on this post but I’ve just read that your oncologist has said you only got months.. he/she shouldn’t have said this to you because they are so many treatments to control this type of cancer. I’ve got a friend who has liver mets she was diagnosed in 2017 and still doing well on first line of treatment. Good luck on your journey. I’ve been living with secondary breast cancer for nearly 3 yrs I’m 44 x x x 

It was a bit of a shock when I was told (also by a registrar) - essentially an “oh and by the way” on the end of a phone call where we had been discussing reducing the dose for the last 3 shots of Paclitaxel that were on schedule for my primary cancer. Fortunately I had my first appointment with the radiology consultant the next day and he was able to put some perspective on how small it was. I then had a PET-CT which confirmed there were no lesions anywhere else. My consultant oncologist was quite upbeat. “Relatively good news”. Not much cancer, lots of working liver, treatments we can try. 

I had a small amount of counselling and went to a mindfulness workshop. But what eventually settled me down was the passage of time and that it’s not got worse.  I am over 3 years into this journey. 

Hi all, 

Thanks so much for your responses - that gives me some hope. It’s so hard to get your head around that it’s not curable and I know you shouldn’t but Google doesn’t help. 

What’s your quality of life like. I’m only 50 so really want to make sure that whatever time is left is as good as possible.

great to hear you are doing well - long may it last. 

 I had an immunotherapy adverse event - where my immune system attacked organs as well as the cancer - and that, and the 9 month course of high dose steroids needed to support recovery, have left some legacy, but otherwise I am good, thankyou. If you click on my name you can read the summary of my story and also click through to my blog.