Hate talking about this but..........

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I've just been told I have 12-18months left to live with secondary breat ca with bone and liver mets. Has anyone been in this surreal situation I guess I'm looking for hope as not getting anything at all from mu team. I'm confused too as still having treatment still a few ive still to get and my liver has started behaving itself 

  • I was diagnosed secondary breast cancer metastases in lungs, liver, clavicle and lymph nodes. My prognosis was up to 6 months. I prepared life for my imminent death. That was in March 2021. I hope this gives you optimism and hope x

  • Who on earth told you that?!

    Absolutely nobody can know if you'll continue to respond to the treatment you're on, will respond to other treatments, or whether new treatments will be approved to try.

    Additionally cancers can mutate to lose, or gain, receptors. My wife's cancer has gone from ER+ HER- to TNBC to ER+ HER2low over the course of 4 years. Each type has its own treatments to try.

    Please don't listen to anyone giving you figures like this; there's no way to predict how long anyone will survive, at least not until the very end, and even then it won't be accurate.

  • Thank you so much for replying it has made me a bit more hopeful I just felt that it came out tge blue and I'm still getting treatment but it was if they were saying give up there's nothing left for you to fight for xx

  • Thank you so much x the problem is its my oncologist who dropped this out the blue so feel like I can ask questions or do anything to give me a better chance as she was really negative and just kept saying 12-18 months but probably nearer 12 xx

  • To me, that is totally inappropriate from the oncologist.

    My wife asked her oncologist how long she had, and her reply was "ask me again in 5 years".

    That was 4 years ago, and her cancer is currently under control.

    There are so many treatments available, and new ones coming out all the time. Best to stay positive, as they say that can help in itself!

  • Well, I don't know the exact details but seems harsh to me? I have bone and liver mets (ER7 PR5 HER2 neg) and I started treatment on ribociclib (relatively new drug) in Feb. I've responded well to treatment so far and I've heard ladies on this treatment for 10yrs+. I had complete hip replacement, because of bone mets, before Christmas and before that I was playing netball so this was a complete shock and took me a while to get my head around it, but now I feel strong and positive and off to a concert tonight, so don't give up hope and maybe a second opinion would be good? There's lots of treatments around now so don't give up hope just yet!

  • I am sorry you find yourself in this situation, particularly having had it dropped on you without you asking for a prognosis. I don’t know why they would think they could accurately judge at this stage, never mind subject you to the mental trauma of being given a timeline. Plenty of people do live for years with secondary cancer. For what it’s worth, I was diagnosed with liver mets in September 22. I am still here, no worse off than then, and I have TNBC which probably has the fewest treatment options. There’s usually hope. 

  • That’s shocking, I’m angry on your behalf.     How very unprofessional of her.  She should be there to support you not knock you back.  My oncologist is realistic but I feel is my biggest cheer leader which is exactly what I need.