Newly Diagnosed - How and when to tell my son

Hi. Sorry you find yourself here. There is a book called mummy’s lump which my bcn told me about. 

Don’t feel like you have to tell him though, I didn’t tell my daughter although she was younger at 4 years old when I was diagnosed. I didn’t want to scare her or expose her to the cancer world. 

Hi  Footballmum  

I’m sorry you have had a diagnosis, but welcome to the forum! 

My son was older at 16 when I was diagnosed but also super sensitive and a natural worrier (even though he will pretend otherwise!) and about to do his GCSEs. I decided not to tell my children (I have an older daughter too) until I knew exactly what was happening and when and, to be honest, they took it much better than I anticipated.

I used lowkey language when talking to them saying things like “it’s just a little lump” and “they’ll take it out quickly, I’ll only be there for the day”. When I was going for radiotherapy I was “just popping out for a hospital appointment”. I also made sure to speak a lot about plans for the future so they knew I intended to be there. This wasn’t to shy away from cancer, but I believe children can be told a diluted version of the truth so they don’t worry unnecessarily. You may be surprised how many of your son’s friends have experienced something similar which will hopefully be reassuring. x

Thank you both for taking time to reply. I'll check out that book. I thought about not telling him, but worry he'll work it out and go to the worst case scenario. I like the idea of talking about future plans, etc and downplaying it as much as possible.