I am due to have a mastectomy left side the 14/1 . Surgeon says it’s a large mass , had ct scan shows nothing in lymph nodes , surgeon not convinced. Had appointment with bcn on video , they will do the dye etc .
I have thrown my self into work to ignore what is happening. Now it’s staring me in my face , I feel I am surrendering all control I have of my life to a new life of treatments and medication and side effects.
I don’t feel brave, I don’t feel ready to have this battle, I don’t envision an enemy invading my body and the need to cut it out . (I had radical hysterectomy previously due to cervical cancer cells, I did feel like that then ) I don’t feel positive about goals in the future to stay and fight for .
I am so scared Of this new life , not being able to work having lymphoedema painful side effects painful joints teeth falling out part of me feels like just walking away from it all, but I don’t have that choice.
is this common? Guessing I just need to know if anyone else feels like this .
