Is this real?

Hi, I’m sorry to read this. Yes, it is scary. I suspect like many of us, you are in shock, but can’t quite express it. I never cried. Over three years later I’m not sure if I ever have (although Ive cried a lot over other things). Perhaps you are being strong for yourself. You are in the early days of diagnosis, and most of us (for some reason) feel better when we receive our treatment plan, once we know what’s what. The feeling of a loss of control is really common. This is a very supportive site, and others will reply soon. A big hug to you, x

Thank you so much. I agree, in a very strange way I want to get my first treatment over with.

Hi Karri , sorry you find yourself here but hopefully you’ll find it a great place for support and shared experiences. Your description of the sense of unreality resonates with me and I’m sure many others. Like you, I’d had other lumps in the past, and a GP referred me aged 21 as she felt I had ‘nodular breasts’. Fast forward to age 59, after a fibroadenoma and cysts over the intervening years, finally the ‘thickening’ I’d felt turned out to be cancer. If you click on my username you can read the details, if it helps. I’m now 64 and am still popping pills - Anastrozole as mine was ER+. I do remember leaving the clinic after being told they were sure it was cancer, and feeling that sense of unreality. I’d been sure it would just be another clump of cysts or other benign condition. 
Re crying, my sign off here is a Hopi quote re crying, but I didn’t cry much initially.  I was definitely being ‘strong’ for those around me, I think that’s really common. 
As others have said, it does somehow feel ‘better’ when things start happening. The waiting for appointments and results is tortuous. And the uncertainty. It’s very scary when you don’t know exactly what you’re facing. But it’s helped me loads to know that there will be someone here who will have gone through something similar. 
Good luck with your next appointment, keep posting here and letting us know how it’s going. Sending love and a big virtual hug your way, HFxx

Thank you, it’s good to know that the feeling of this being unreal is kind of normal. I am 61 so we are close in age. I am due to have my first grandchild this year, something I have dearly wanted for a long time. So much to be positive about. I will keep posting as I already feel like there is support here, again thank you x

Congratulations! How lovely that your first grandchild is arriving soon. I’m 62, so also of a similar age. Like Happyfeet, I am also taking Anastrazole. Yes, do keep in touch if you can. X

Hi Karri

Think a lot of us can relate to that. I’m 59 & I’ve found that since I was diagnosed early Dec I’m accepting it more (but still do forget I’ve got it occasionally!) & you sort of start treating it as some type of ‘norm’ even though it’s one you thought (hoped) you wouldn’t have. It’s incredibly daunting early days what with all the tests, consultations & not knowing what lies ahead & it’s the not knowing where you’re at plays hard on your mind. Even though you are a strong person allow yourself time not to be & be sympathetic to your needs & emotions as it’s tough time ️

I’ve now had 2 ops for removal of 3.66cm invasive lobular cancer lump ER+ her2-(low) & full auxiliary lymph node clearance of which 3 out of 15 tested positive so I’m having 3 x EC chemo, 3 x Docetaxel chemo followed by some radiotherapy. I had 2nd chemo last Thurs which isn’t the nicest thing but it’s doable as they say.

My thoughts so far are that once you have your results, treatment plan & everything gets moving you know where you are & you can manage it better. Oh it’s a journey but surprisingly you do get on with it & it’s tough at times but manageable & you can beat it! The treatments have advanced so much & there’s so much positivity around that that it gives you confidence all will be well & you’ll be back on holidays, enjoying your new grandchild & feeling positive again.

Hope results are ok & wish you all the best with this. There’s so much support on this forum & that can help at times. 

Sanguine x

Thank you, I like the way you have explained your journey, it helps me. I am going to try to do the same for others because, as you say, the not knowing and not having all the facts is probably the most difficult. So I’m looking forward to my ‘norm’, it might be the first time I’ve ever been normal Sorry, wicked sense of humour which I have no intention of losing and from your reply I think I’m going to need it x

Hi Karri

That’s ok. 

Don’t lose your sense of humour, it helps! I’m going around today feeling like a zombie & after looking at the state of my remaining hair I look like one x

Hello Karri,  Sorry to hear about your breast cancer diagnosis.  Yes it is surreal as most of us feel fine and many of us have no symptoms.  When they say the word the world shakes because of the fear of the unknown.  All the prodding, clips , testing is all needed but then the waiting puts a strain on us too.  I am a retired nurse and found my diagnosis very hard to accept as felt fine with no symptoms.  Well finally I got on board with everything but not without a little kicking and screaming ( internally of course).  I had so many questions about everything it was like my head was spinning.  Seemed I didn’t have any time to cry so just kept on keeping up the best I could with my life.  Exercise did help and my poor husband felt sad too but didn’t talk about it much.  He just felt I knew what to do .  Well I hope all goes well for you and that the treatment plan moves along .  Hugs to you. 

Many thanks Barb, I can relate to so much of what you have said, particularly about your husband’s reaction. I guess we’ve always been the strong ones, but it’s very different being on the receiving end .Like you my head is spinning with questions and I’m quite impatient to know the answers X