Diagnosed today - what advice would you give?

Hi Jellybeans,

I am further on the cancer journey noone wants to be on. I am a 53 year old, in fact my surgery in January was actually on my birthday. I am mum to a 13 year old son and a 10 year old daughter. I found a lump in my right breast in October and after various mammograms and biopsies was diagnosed with stage 3 triple negative in the right breast and lymph nodes and precancerous cells in my left breast. I had a ct scan in December which showed no spread but a couple of nodules on my chest wall. Fast forward to the end of January and I had a radical mastectomy with a full lymph node removal (55 taken, 21 cancerous) and a lumpectomy in the left. I came home with two drains and pain killers, although surgery wasn't as bad as I expected.

I had several physio sessions and saw the oncologist in February, informed I needed 6 cycles of chemo followed by radiotherapy. My chemo starts on Friday and I am not cold capping so have ordered the headscarves and planning to cut my hair short on Thursday. My attitude is the sooner it starters, the sooner it is done. I'm staying positive and hoping the side effects of chemo are not as bad as I am expecting. 

Take care and stay positive and if you need to rant, the forum is a good place to do it x

Thanks ShazzaL - I'm so sorry for what you are going through but really helpful to hear someone else's journey too. Wishing you lots of luck for Friday and I'm sure that you will rock the headscarves!

Will be thinking of you x

Thank you- we can do this!! X

So sorry you have had this news it is all the waiting for results which is so stressful as well as dealing with all this treatment entails. 

Try to involve your children get them to help choose hats/scarves don't shut them out give as much reassurance as you are able. 

It's a tough journey but with your family around you , you will find the strength to get through it.

Once you get your plan it will feel like you are fighting this a day at a time. Big hugs x

Hi, I was diagnosed 3 years ago now and it's a scary time. I blogged throughout, but this particular blog post might help your preparation for chemo (Chemo blog link)

One thing to consider is telling people. I was very open about my diagnosis and lots of people knew when my results appointment was. In hindsight I wish I’d been more vague about the exact time as many people were (with good intentions) asking me how I was and I just wasn’t up to talking about it.  I don't regret being so open but it would have been better to be in control of telling people when I was ready.

Also, keep,posting on here, it"s a huge support. Best wishes

Hi, I‘m 48 & was diagnosed with triple neg back in August, finished chemo in Jan and recovering from lumpectomy & sentinel node removal op two weeks ago.  

I wish I had been more prepared for the hair loss.  I tried the cold cap for my first chemo session and I think I just expected it to work for me as I’ve never had hair problems, it’s always been quite thick & healthy.  However, I found the cold cap really uncomfortable and my hair had fallen out so much within a couple of weeks and become so dry and started knotting that I cut it off before my second session! I didn’t have any head coverings and panic bought a couple from Amazon as I felt too embarrassed to go anywhere as my hair was so patchy. So I would definitely recommend getting at least one hat/beanie/scarf to have ready incase you need it. Maybe ask your son to help you choose one, to soften the ‘blow’ a little for him.  My kids are older (20, 14 & 13) but it’s still a shock for them whatever age.  My daughter (13) helped me choose scarves (from Shein) and found tik tok videos to learn how to tie them. 

Also, if you can, you might like to get your eyebrows microbladed.  I didn’t even think about loosing my lashes & brows, but read on here after I started treatment that some people have it done before treatment starts.  

lastly, I would definitely recommend getting a PICC line or port if it’s offered.  Although it’s another procedure you have to go through, it’s worth it.  I couldn’t have a PICC so had a central line in my chest which did the same thing, but this was after my first chemo session.  The first chemo was straight into the vein and it caused me pain & discomfort in my arm for quite a few months, I still get a pulling sensation there now sometimes.  The chest line was a godsend, especially when I went on to the twelve sessions of weekly chemo.  I had the district nurses come to my home to flush and dress it weekly and they also took the bloods from it for oncology. 

Good luck with everything xx

Hi, I’m 41 and have cancer in both breasts too, different kinds! . I was diagnosed in October and I’m just coming to the end of my chemo. I’ve just had an MRi which will determine which surgery I have. 

I have a 5 year old and I’ve just been really open and honest with her. We bought some wigs (SHEIN has some cheap ones) and we all just wear them and try and keep it light hearted. 

that being said I have used the cold cap and have managed to retain a lot of hair but i have a couple of bald patches. If you use the cold cap don’t wash more than once a week or ties your hair up as it causes stress on the head. 

the worry in your head is worse than what you will go through, your children will give you the strength to get you through this. Trust me as I was the same.

good luck x