Hello everyone. I'm new here.
I've just been diagnosed with invasive lobular breast cancer in my right breast after a biopsy taken when attending the clinic with an area of thickness near my nipple. It's ER8 PR8 HERÈ negative. Nothing showed on my mammogram in April, so it's come as a huge shock. I don't drink much, have never smoked and run 5k three times a week. I breast fed both kids. I'm 58.
At first they said the lump was 16mm, and that I'd have surgery and radiotherapy, but the MRI showed it to be 27mm with another small area near to it which they are going to biopsy. If that's also cancer, they'll say that together that makes a 30mm tumour. They also found cancer cells in a lymph node under my arm.
I'm having a CT scan on Friday evening. I was already terrified, and the prospect of the CT scan this is making it worse. I'm convinced they are going to find it everywhere.
I can't eat or sleep and feel like I've had all the stuffing knocked out of me. Both me and my husband don't know how to make it feel better. It just seems impossible and so so scary. I'm so scared.
I realise I'm lucky compared to those of you with small children. Both ours are grown, but I feel so guilty for putting everyone through such worry.
Sorry, I'm going on!
Hi Casey4jc
I am in the same position with my CT scan tomorrow. I am petrified they are going to find cancer else where. How do I cope when i am so scared?
I am trying to distract myself with work but I just end up crying and shaking. I know I have to try to be positive and fight this but I just don't know how to do that
Hoping all goes well with your scan and results
Hi Teddy5
I posted an update to the post you're replying to this morning. It's on page 2. My CT results were fine I will keep everything crossed for you too.
Speak to your GP. They may be able to prescribe something to calm you. Mine did. I wouldn't have coped without it. I feel your anxiety, I really do. The scan itself is quick, it's the wait for the results.
Sending a lot of love your way
Karen x
Hi Triah
Glad to hear your surgery is soon. What are we like, willing such a horrible thing to happen?!
I've started eating again now, but have still lost 5kg so far. I'm the weight I was before I had my kids now, 32 and 29 years ago. Not the best weight loss regime.
I got my treatment plan today. They haven't got space to do my mastectomy and full lymph node clearance until 19th December. I'll have faded away by then if I don't start eating normally. I hope for a cancellation for an earlier date.
Sleep is a stranger past 3am for me too. I am exhausted, but hopefully now I know what's going to happen in the short term, that will help. I'm self employed so I have stopped most work. A huge financial hit, but luckily my husband is working at the moment.
I won't know about chemo until after surgery, when they've done the histology. I suspect I won't get away without having it. Stuff to whittle about in the middle of the night
Christmas is pretty much cancelled though Or I will hand it over to the kids and direct proceedings from the sofa
G️ood luck with your surgery. Let me know how you get on.
Sending love and hugs
Karen x
Casey4jc - I too am having to let go of the Christmas reins a bit this year.... everyone will have to pitch in (not easy for me as this is my favourite time of year) I've decorated early as I won't be up to it after surgery. Like you, I am self employed and it's not great having to add loss of income to the list of things to deal with right now. Luckily I'm not the only earner in the house but it still leaves a noticeable dent!
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