New diagnosis

Hi Casey4jc

I am in the same position with my CT scan tomorrow. I am petrified they are going to find cancer else where.  How do I cope when i am so scared? 

I am trying to distract myself with work but I just end up crying and shaking. I know I have to try to be positive and fight this but I just don't know how to do that

Hoping all goes well with your scan and results 

Hi Teddy5

I posted an update to the post you're replying to this morning. It's on page 2. My CT results were fine  I will keep everything crossed for you too.

Speak to your GP. They may be able to prescribe something to calm you. Mine did. I wouldn't have coped without it. I feel your anxiety, I really do. The scan itself is quick, it's the wait for the results.

Sending a lot of love your way 

Karen x

• Casey4jc, I know what you mean about going through this changing you, I feel it too. I've also really struggled to eat.... especially in the first week after my diagnosis...I barely ate at all. I am eating now and trying to be healthy but my appetite is smaller than usual (not really a bad thing).  I've also relaxed a bit, as I now have my treatment plan, my surgery is planned for later this week. My sleep, however, has gone a bit haywire and I keep waking up at about 3am and can't get back to sleep. As for the forums, I've gained so much from the discussions on here but I do pick and choose what I look at.... for example, I started looking at discussions around my specific kind of breast cancer but soon realised I was comparing the treatment others had had with what I'm having and it made me worry that I should be having something different....I had to remind myself that every BC case is different and I decided not to read any more along those lines, just like I am avoiding googling anything about cancer, other than nice uplifting stories about people who've beaten it!

Hi Triah

Glad to hear your surgery is soon. What are we like, willing such a horrible thing to happen?!

I've started eating again now, but have still lost 5kg so far. I'm the weight I was before I had my kids now, 32  and 29 years ago. Not the best weight loss regime.

I got my treatment plan today. They haven't got space to do my mastectomy and full lymph node clearance until 19th December. I'll have faded away by then if I don't start eating normally. I hope for a cancellation for an earlier date.

Sleep is a stranger past 3am for me too. I am exhausted, but hopefully now I know what's going to happen in the short term, that will help. I'm self employed so I have stopped most work. A huge financial hit, but luckily my husband is working at the moment.

I won't know about chemo until after surgery, when they've done the histology. I suspect I won't get away without having it. Stuff to whittle about in the middle of the night

Christmas is pretty much cancelled though  Or I will hand it over to the kids and direct proceedings from the sofa

G️ood luck with your surgery. Let me know how you get on.

Sending love and hugs

Karen x

Teddy5 - how did you get on with your scan?

Casey4jc -  I too am having to let go of the Christmas reins a bit this year.... everyone will have to pitch in (not easy for me as this is my favourite time of year)  I've decorated early as I won't be up to it after surgery. Like you, I am self employed and it's not great having to add loss of income to the list of things to deal with right now. Luckily I'm not the only earner in the house but it still leaves a noticeable dent!

I got the results yesterday and it was clear. I cannot tell you how scared I was and then such relief. 

Teddy5 - I am really happy for you - I know the feelings you describe very well.  I hope these results give you some reprieve from the terrible worry and stress and you can do something nice for yourself to help you relax.  

Teddy5, that's fantastic news - phew!

One more step along the road 

Thank you all.  If anyone has any helpful advise for getting through chemo that would be great