New diagnosis

try not to stress too much, easy to say, but we all do.

have sour candies on hand for taste bud issues, and a fruit juice to drink as for me water became unbearable at one point. 

eat what u fancy, try to avoid favourite foods as it can put you off later. buy a good thermometer and some nice body oil for dryness.

Teddy5, I'm sure there are many many people on here who can respond to your question better than I can but, in case it's any help, I'll share this...A friend of mine is currently having chemo and she says that things have changed a lot over the years and there are now lots of interventions available to make chemo more manageable.... like, for example, when it was making her feel nauseous, they administered effective anti sickness meds. She also keeps her schedule light in the days after chemo just in case.... some weeks she feels tired, others she feels OK.  She has chosen to wear the cold cap to try to save her hair and says, for her, this is the worst part but she is bearing with it as, so far, it is doing the job. Also, when she had chemo, she takes lots of things to do and cosy blankets....

Sorry you are here but the support has helped me on this community just to get through the day and night. I've bookmarked this group and 'The Room' which is a place to scream right now feelings - and i feel like that at this point. 

sleep is terrible for me- 2 hours max so had to have zopiclone to get 5-6 hours as I wasnt coping and couldnt work and put an act on for my 2 teenage children when i was shattered. I dont feel any better after tge 6 hours- its not restful sleep but its more shutveye to power on. I soray lavender on pillow, wear a comfy eyemask and ear plugs anyway - my sleep has been bad for a few years.

Eating- i didnt for days on end but again a show in front of the children is needed and so things go in my mouth and i force myself at night to eat. Its built up from 1 banana to one with yoghurt, weetabix came ok if left to soak, soups, fruit - i bought tinned peaches which went down well, not something i usually eat! I ate crisps 2 days ago. Then managed first turkey salad roll yesterday. The thought of food repulses me, but a switch inside goes ill try that and it goes down.

The guilt is normal i take it as i have it. Guilt of seeing my parents' pain, guilt of destroying my husband and placing so much on him, guilt that ill be changinh my childrens lives forever and what destroying affect that will have. 

So just try to do what you can to fill the days. Ill be in a mess today, my first appointment to find out what type i have is this afternoon. Its as if Im in someone elses body, its not my story im in a dream......but pinch, nope its true and painful and sad and hard. I want to find a way to accept and just be, as is, bit with the children its very hard. Googled support for them but nothing local.

Ninsi I’m so sorry you are going through this. It does get better. I found that once I had my treatment plan that helped me. I have a grade 3 Er8 Pr5 Her2 neg which was stage 2 IDC and in 2 lymph nodes. I have had the works, Lumpectomy, node clearance, chemo, radiotherapy, having iv biphosphates 6 monthly, and presently on Abemaciclib for 2 years. I went through the not sleeping, guilt for causing my family anxiety but 11 months on I am now in an acceptance stage, taking one day at a time and appreciating life. I don’t know what the future holds but none of us do. You will find the resources you never knew you had. You will get there, Sending my best wishes.

Ninsi, I can relate to so much of what you've said here.  I also felt terrible seeing the pain of all my loved ones around me (even though it is hardly our fault is it - none of us asked for this).  I responded to my inital diagnosis very much like you - I felt like I was floating above my body - Like it wasn't actually happening to me - Totally surreal.  I then couldn't eat for days either...In the end, I realised I could manage things like milkshakes, smoothies, soups and started eating again from there.  I lost all interest in all foods that I loved as well...I think it was just like all the pleasure felt like it had gone out of my life. 

It's completely understandable how you're feeling going for your appointment today - That was me last week....I was so at the end of my tether with the wait and all the not knowing, when the consultant came in and started speaking to me, I couldn't even find it with in myself to respond - It's like I was numb... or not in the room at all!

I hope you get the answers you need today....For me, once I knew what I was dealing with and when my treatment will start, the terrible fear and anxiety dropped down a few notches - It's not completely gone (there's still a long journey ahead) but it's not all-consuming like it was in the beginning...

Are your children at school?  If so, maybe the school can put them in touch with a counsellor?  When I told my teenage children, I told them they could tell their friends if they wanted to, so that they will have other people outside the home to talk to if they need to - I realise that they might not want to talk to me about their worries, for fear they might upset me.....  Obviously though, you have to do what you feel is best for you and your children....

Oh thank you Triah so much. I have to wait until Tuesday for more tests before i know everything. Good to talk with someone that seems to have gone through similar feelings xxx

There is something so helpful about knowing you aren't alone isn't there? I have been so grateful for the support in this forum.  I wish you all the very best for Tuesday. At least you will finally have your plan. When you know what you're dealing with and they tell you what will happen, it's like you get some control back....X

Hope so. Just hard still being in limbo. The breast care nurse rang to say she's stuck my tests under their noses today and stressed to get them done. She'll ring me with them monday or tuesday.

Ive stopped hrt and coil being removed on monday, so hell will prevail after 8 years of no periods. Gynaecologist recommended it and fit it and it was a godsend as id had constant bleeding for 2 years, only 4 day breaks from period with 24 days on. I was in a state when i started hrt a year and a half ago and regained my sanity and now im probably here because of them. Breast care nurse said some have them and are fine, some dont have them and still have BC. I have no family history on mums side so no concern at the time of giving. But my decisions were to benefit me at the time, with no forethought to future problems.

There was a 31 year old there yesterday on her own being informed she had BC - i saw her welling up after the biopsy and wished i coild make it better for her. 

Ive spoken to an uncle who was lovely today and he got me to think more positive. But stressed that I need to gear myself for chemo hell and accept the bad days will be followed by less bad days but that its really tough. He told me to keep positive for the children and did tell me to remember that I will be there to help them through emotionally - that I was talking as if it will all be down to my husband. 

Anyway, off to bed now to look for sleep, here's hoping xxx

Ninsi, I just wanted to respond to what you've written here as it's so relatable to me but from a slightly different angle....I've had similar issues with my periods for years and am constantly getting anaemic as a result....Coil made things worse for me and I didn't go on HRT (despite this and other peri-related issues) because I DO have a history of BC on my mum's side of the family and I end up getting BC anyway....So, like your BC nurse was suggesting, there's often no real 'rhyme or reason' to who gets this...