Scared

1. Hiya I had a very aggressive  her2 positive  cancer, I had some chemo and in February  I had a right mastectomy (my choice) I understand exactly  how you feel about being scared I was terrified about getting the results. I was told the cancer had reached my chest wall and 15 out of 19 lymph nodes contained cancer, I thought that was it until he said they had removed it. I was then booked in for a pet ct scan of my whole body and I had to wait a couple of weeks for that, then the waiting for results again, I was terrified again but the results where good there was no other areas of concern. I'm now waiting to heal so I can have 3 weeks of radiotherapy. I know how you feel but you got this my friend will be rooting for you. Big hugs, Mandy xx

I also have TNBC - lump was 16mm so just about the same size as yours. I think chemo is always recommended for TNBC and I am having it first -done 3 cycles of EC so far (diagnosed in December) and side effects were totally manageable for me. Start a new regime tomorrow.

Did they give an indication of any lymph node involvement prior to the surgery from the scan? If there is anything left the chemo will target it - you have to imagine it as an army of soldiers doing their job at killing cancer - and they will do a good job! My tumour has responded really well to the chemo so far and it’s nicely shrinking.

I know what it’s like to feel under attack with news coming - but try and breathe through it and distract yourself from being cancer focussed.

Make sure those important questions are written down for tomorrow and take someone with you for moral support.

We are all here for you. I will be having treatment tomorrow whilst you are receiving results - I will hold you in mind and be wishing you well .

Jan

Thank you for your encouraging words. I’ll try to be strong but just the thought of walking into the building is making me feel sick 

Thanks so much for replying. I’m finding it quite worrying how so many people with TN have chemo first then surgery even if lump small like yourself. I don’t understand why mine has been surgery first - makes me worry more! 
the original scan didn’t show anything in nodes but I’ve read stories of other people having this then cancer showing in nodes after op. can’t make my mind think positively as done this twice before and then had bad news 

I think it’s a 50/50 whether the surgery is first or after chemo. The outcomes are apparently reported as being the same so try not to worry about that. From my understanding most people prefer to have the surgery first as it least it means the tumour has been removed. I have had the worry about whether my tumour was responding to the chemo and not just growing so there are for’s and against.

Try not to feed that worry - it just feeds more worry and after a while you find ‘worry’ having a bit of a party - inviting other guests like fear and anxiety.

I do understand your feelings - I was so there in initial diagnosis but have had to learn how to step away for my own sanity. Focus on how you have got through challenges in life before and draw on those strengths. Don’t let worry have the party - who can you invite instead? Distraction? Treats? Happy memories? Future plans? The words of supportive friends?

I know it’s hard - but you can do it x

Hi Rok, it is a worrying time. I had the choice of either chemo first then surgery or surgery then chemo. I chose surgery as I wanted the cancer out and didn’t want to have to wait and do chemo first. I did have to have a second op as a sentinel node was positive but for me having the axillary clearance to get the rest of the positive nodes out to made me feel great as I knew the cancer had all been removed. If I had chemo first I would have been constantly wondering if it was working and been worrying myself silly and one can’t just have a scan on a regular basis. 
By having the surgery first I then was given a staging PET CT scan before I started chemo to see if there was anything anywhere else. Luckily there wasn’t. 
Despite having the set back of my sentinel node being positive and then after the second op again having a set back to know I had 9 more node’s positive I still keep thinking positive! Whilst it’s difficult sometimes to keep thinking that way I find it actually gives me such a better outlook on life. I have my kids, my husband and my cats and I’m determined to keep thinking positive. Negative thoughts get booted out as they don’t help and just bring back fear. Live life to the full We only get one shot at it and it may be we have a tricky path to negotiate but we will get there
To find your answer about why you had surgery first speak with your breast care nurse or surgeon/dr whoever gave you your plan and ask them to explain. That what they should be able to put your mind at rest as to why they have done it this way as opposed the other way. 

Sending you best wishes for your journey.

Hugs from cuffcake x x x x x

Thank you - your words are really encouraging and help a lot x 

Your strength and positivity is amazing. I will definitely take this on board. Thank you so much for taking the time to share x