Soon to meet my Oncologist / Grade III ER+ PR+ Her2 Borderline Positive on Fish

My name is Elaine. 

Hi, l have been diagnosed with Grade 3 ductal Progesterone positive breast cancer Confirmed on 4th January 2022.  Lumpectomy operation on 12th January to 5mm tumour found in right breast in a recent mammogram.  I am 57 years old and waiting for the results of the 2  Lymph node extractions from under my arm taken as part of the surgery to confirm if cancer is still in situ or has spread.  I have 3 more days to wait for my results.  I have been on an emotional rollercoaster for the last week or so. All in the space of a few minutes my emotions changed on an industrial scale. I woke up at 4.45am, went down stairs to make myself a cup of tea.  Remembered that l needed to use my our arm to fill and lift the kettle. As l was competing the task tears started to roll down my cheeks, l felt sad, then, positive, then, powerless, then anxious, then frightened, then l looked at the numerous vases of flowers  from caring friends. I them felt loved .  I ate 3 chocolates that were also a gift. I then took my cup of tea up to bed. I think l will feel better when l know what my treatment will be so l can focus on getting through it. 

It is like a massive earthquake, my whole world got shaken (not stirred). I’ve always been able bodied and done things independently. I’m pre-menopausal at 48 and in August found a lump in my left breast perchance - I had no symptoms, no pain - there was nothing suspicious, my breasts were normal and I was just looking to see if things were okay there. I knew straight away the little pea sized lump in a 6 o’clock position on my left breast wasn’t normal - it made the alarm bells ring.  The GP reassured me that it may likely be a cyst as I have Fibrocystic Breast Disease and at my age the breast tissue changes, so to feel lumps is awkward as the breast texture is super notchy. She asked me to come back in a month, at which point it had grown from the size of a pea to what felt like the size of a pecan nut. It was quick growing that’s for sure. She booked me into the Aberdeen Breast clinic which is a ways away, and I got referred 8 weeks later. To cut a long story short, successful surgery found the lump was smaller than they thought (16mm) but the cancerous tissue had spread to 22mms so it was upgraded to Grade III and found to be borderline HER2 positive on Fish, BRCA gene negative (joy of joys!). I have found Macmillan Resources a comforting reassurance on a very Rocky Road, I have lots of material. I have found the Cancer Treatment Team to be very human and in the dehumanising state that cancer puts one in it is comforting to know there are people who care and who help those of us who have, through no fault of our own, unfortunately found ourselves with a cancer diagnosis. It’s a long tough journey, but it’s good to have people who care on the other side (knock 3 times )I don’t think anything can prepare one for the effects of treatment, but a good support team, a positive mindset, (a sense of humour too if it can be salvaged), a strong will to live, physical activity as much as one can, healthy nutrition backed up with the corporate winning attitude of a team that likes to win ;) is a good place to start.

I'm still waiting, everyone has to wait, I cope well generally till the day before. Stage 2 grade 2, was in 1 lymph node. Oncotype DX will be back by then to decide if I need chemo. I'm trying not to Google just dip in occasionally. 

Danced outside on Friday first time for 2 mths since this all kicked off. Reading about hormone blockers is a bit grim mine is oestrogen and progesterone +be. I am postmenopause so have already had many of the side effects. Dodgy knees, osteoporosis in wrists that is being treated. I'll have whatever they suggest. Keep walking and doing the exercises. Get down sometime but never too far. 

Love colour and plants watching things grow. Xxxx

I was surprised how the news hit me, it took my usual cockiness out of me and sobered me up mentally - from just living a daily life without any critical illness to something that I’ll know for life which will mean navigating through treatments, then a will to living preventatively ever after, being mindful of health hazards and fighting to keep optimum health. I am thankful for the resources available to help us know what may be around the corner and how to make some kind or preparation for the ‘what if’s’ and ‘maybe’s’. We all like answers and it’s always nice if someone is there to tell you “it’s going to be okay!” and “You can pull through this!” Having a positive support base is really important. When the answer lies in, “just wait and see, everyone responds differently”, it‘s still nice to have a positive response and not a lonely echo. Nobody should have to fight cancer alone. The beautiful minds behind the lab coats of the teams working diligently behind the scenes researching better ways for treating cancer and better methods ... and a cure, deserve applause and recognition for their concerted efforts. We all have someone we love and care about and that is a good place to start fighting for health that’s something worth winning x

I can’t believe that you were told to go back to your GP in a month !  

It was just to monitor any change due to fybrocystic masses in my breast which made it hard to determine whether it was a harmless cyst or otherwise. The lump was mobile and not in a fixed position so it played hide & seek, but I could find   it as we all know how our breasts feel. It was a tricky little bugger to find, even the Surgeon had a bit of navigating to put her finger on it. Yes the quicker the better - find it and get it tested - my little ‘pea’ sadly packed a bigger punch than a cyst. I’d prefer to have pulled out a “Nespresso, what else?” punchline then “Chemo cocktail” order,  but alas fate determined otherwise and now this lady has a big mountain to climb ;)

Oh ok, l understand.  My pea sized lump was detected by a routine mammogram. I was told by the surgeon that l would not have been able to feel that 5mm lump for another year and a half so it has been found really early.  Everything has happened really fast for me so my head is still in a spin, but l am a really positive person so onwards and upwards.  I will find out on Wednesday what treatment l need l think. 

Absolutely my son is vulnerable, he is Autistic and Epileptic. He was home yesterday and had a seizure. It reminds me of what I am here for. I support him and the carers when I can. Xx