Not Coping as well as expected!

Just sending lots of sympathy. A lot of us have had long waits at different stages in the process. It is never easy.

Hi Fly Away, sorry to hear of your diagnosis and all the waiting time with delays due to broken machine and Christmas. It’s always a worrying and anxious time with waiting and it can be very difficult to get back to a more normal state of mind. Hopefully by keeping busy with work it will help take your mind off the wait a little. Have you tried a downloading a relaxation/meditation app? This might help, I did find when I was stressed and worried I used an app one of the Macmillan nurses suggested- Daylight 2.0. The Logo is and orange semi circle in a white box. Is there someone that can come with you to your appointments? This might help to make things easier  with someone to be there to support you and help listen and make notes if things get a little overwhelming. 
Wishing you all the best with your journey.

Hugs from cuffcake x x x x x

Thank you xx 

Yes hubby will be with me.

I am so bloody lucky to have the support of many friends and family... but I think sometimes they just get overwhelmed by my tears.   They are just not used to seeing me like this.!

I guess I just need things to move along and get started !! 

Thank you for your lovely words x 

It is scary and I really feel for you - I had delay after delay being diagnosed just before Easter - there were so many Bank Holidays especially with the Jubilee and it took forever to get results/next steps even though they said right from diagnosis that I needed surgery urgently.  I’m sorry there is no fix but hang in there - just take one step at a time and try to keep busy. Work does help as a distraction.  I also put my name down for counselling with a local cancer charity - I thought I had nothing to say at that point but there’s sometimes a waiting list and it meant by the time I was offered counselling I had just started chemo and by then I really did have quite a lot I wanted to talk about.  Let us know how it goes. 

Hi Fly Away,  Oh I totally understand how you are feeling during this difficult time.  Seems like one thing after another happens and it does jolt our emotions.  I always thought I was pretty centered and grounded and even after I was diagnosed with DCIS I thought well stage 0 have a lumpectomy and radiation and hormone treatment and I will be done.  But not in the cards for me as when they did MRI found two little spots in left breast and another small area in right.  I lost it all at that point and then found out had stage 1 in other breast.  It sucked but I did make it through and feel really good now but it was a struggle and I am not the type to ask for help and that isn’t good.  Hubby was a big help and my son too but it is hard to be down dog faced so tried my best to be up.  I have a good friend who went through breast cancer and she was there for me too.  Going out for walks helped as well as cycling.  Nature really is healing.  I am sending you all my calming thoughts and hoping for a good treatment plan.  I think the waiting and changed to treatment plan really make us flip our lids .  Happy New Year

Barbara

Hello Flyaway….. Reading your post sends me straight back to the early days from when I was newly diagnosed….. I don’t want to write too much only to reassure you that things will be fine! The waiting around really is awful and your mind plays awful tricks on you, regardless of whether you are strong or not. When I was in your situation, my consultant kindly reassured me that a little delay is not critical and that the professionals know what they are doing. I am Sure in your case they have discussed your case outside of an MDT . I know for sure they don’t just close books for a 2 week national holiday. As hard as it is, put your trust in them. Hold on to the fact that the waiting is the worst part and that once you have a treatment plan you will feel a lot more in control and also start on the road to recovery…… a huge amount of do recover. A nurse friend told me at the beginning of my journey to write the next 10 to 12 months off and follow what the doctors say. That really helped me focus. Wishing every success in your treatment and do use this amazing forum, rather than Dr Google! Take care and do something nice for yourself everyday xxx

Bless you it is hard . I had same cancer and lymph involvement as you. It totally overwhelms you. Like you not been ill and only time in hospital was to have my children.

I found I got myself in a panic very emotional but when I actually went for treatment was fairly calm. I just kept telling myself got to be done. When I was told chemo was coming I freaked but you some how got through it. Radiotherapy I had about a five week wait for which was hard as could see the finish line but not quite get there. The bank holidays are a pain I had to go into another week due to the Queen's Jubilee weekend. 

Hope you get your results soon and scans MRI are the better scans for picking up lobular cancer so hang in there. Good luck x

 Janemb Sassy68 Hopeful Barb LabradorLover 

Ladies and anyone I missed....

Thank you all for your words and support ! 

Crazy as results day approaches ..the worse it seems !! 

But one day at time !! 

I really appreciate your replies.... I feel better for reading them . ! 

My poor husband is petrified and for.the first tme in 25years of marriage he has never seen me crumbled like this....his fear is certainly feeding mine.... but thats love and we must deal with it together  x

However today is a good day....work was fun and I back on top of the fears !! 

Thank you all again... I did smile read6ypir posts xx

Hi Fly Away , lovely replies already from the fine folks here, just wanted to add my support and a big virtual hug. It’s such a tortuous time, waiting for tests, results and that all important treatment plan. And when you say you are normally the control freak, that will only make your lack of control in your current situation feel even worse. It’s just the pits when you are having literally to put your life in their hands. You just have to try to hold on to the fact that time will pass and you will get to the point when you a) know more definitively what you’re dealing with and b) what treatments you are facing. I really think you’re at the worst stage, when nothing is certain. The unknown is usually much scarier than the known. 
Glad you had a good day, that will fortify you and probably cheer hubbie up too! Love and hugs, HFxx 

Hi there,

I was diagnosed on Nov 18th and completely identify with what you are going through. I've now had the results of my MRI and CT scan, and am starting chemo on 9th Jan, having been told I am stage 2, with some lymph node involvement.

I received the CT scan report within 2 working days of my scan so it does seem massively excessive that you are having to wait for weeks. My hospital (Wythenshawe) operates an app whereby results are sent immediately to you and you don't have to wait to receive them from your consultant. This can be a good thing when results are positive, but not so good when they are not and just ping through on your phone. Maybe worth speaking to your breast nurse to see if you can be given any information which would help to manage your entirely natural anxiety - it really does seem to be a very unfair length of wait.

Sending you a big hug,

Kerry