Helping Mum with anxiety/catastrophising

Unfortunately until your mother has more information this is normal.  She's not being dramatic it's just her mind's way of looking to accept diagnosis.  Once she has treatment plan she will feel better.  This limbo stage of tests/waiting for results is awful.  Don't trivialise her diagnosis even though you have the urge to reassure her to make her (and you) feel better.  Instead acknowledge how impactful hearing the words you have cancer are.  Maybe say something like.  "You must feel so shocked and scared being told you have cancer.  Just know while the medical professional can sort you out physically I'm here to listen to your fears etc.  you can tell me anything, you don't need to protect me."   This will give her opportunity if she wants it to open up and to realise it's ok to be scared.  You could suggest she joins this forum if she wants to talk to women who have been where she is and no question or fear is silly.  She will get amazing support here.  There is also a forum on here for family and friends for them to get support.  

She will feel calmer as control returns xx

Yup. Stop telling her to stop catastrophising! She doesn’t have a proper diagnosis, that is scary as you don’t know what you’re dealing with and being surrounded by people telling you not to panic, telling you you’re lucky it’s been caught early, like they have the first clue, so much can be done these days, etc, is wearing and unhelpful. Just listen and empathise. We all still get scanxiety every year after treatment, it doesn’t get any easier x

Thanks for the replies.

I have actually been talking to my dad about this and giving him advice along the same lines.

I have OCD and know full well how unhelpful it can be when in the grips of catastrophising to hear 'just stop' from people.

Her doctor has prescribed her Amitriptyline but she is reluctant to take that as her own mum had a bad reaction to it and she is worried about the side effects.

At the moment I am just worried she isn't getting enough sleep due to the anxiety and was looking for any advice on some natural things that really work!

Thanks x

Her body will get the sleep it needs.  A shortish phase of poor sleep is ok.  I discovered YouTube sleep hypnosis *michael sealey, which I listened to in bed.  My hubby found it annoying but it was enough to stop my mind completely  wandering about cancer, instead I'd think why isn't it sending me to sleep.  

Sorry to hear you have OCD, my daughter is a sufferer too,  Been in a bad phase for last 13 months barely leaving her house.  I know from her that telling people in crisis to "just calm down" etc is the wrong thing and when I had my diagnosis 7 years ago she was amazing with calming me by telling me to ask questions- I was burying my head in the sand eg when my daughter asked me what grade /stage (she was in middle of biomedical degree) I said I didn't know, I hadn't asked.  She told me it won't change things so ask, inform myself of situation and she was right I did feel less like a pathetic patient just listening when they talked at me to engaging with them about my treatment.   I think I over did looking in control as both surgeon and nurse said "you very matter of fact about this".  I'd get in car and breakdown, not because of anything they said but because I was still dealing with hearing the words "it's cancer".  

Yeah OCD is not fun! And massively misunderstood.

Thanks for the advice :)