Why can’t I cry

Hi Valsy 

bless you I would suggest you are in shock I was in shock for a good few weeks was diagnosed 8 weeks ago first with breast cancer then after having the test I have also been diagnosed with secondary bone cancer but I have started chemotherapy and had my 3rd treatment yesterday I have been lucky and the side effects I am experiencing are really minor I would say my mental health is what I am a bit concerned about I find myself crying a lot but I think the most important is to not allow yourself to think your spoiling your daughters happy times you also need support now your daughter will want to know you are feeling supported try and take a day at a time it helps me to try and keep it in the day we are lucky to have family to support us I feel very grateful for that right now some people don’t have anyone.

I was in shock for quite a few weeks it’s really hard to get your head around but it is getting better for me I am learning g to accept things it takes a while there are so many Medicans  out there 

I wish you well with everything x

I’m so sorry to hear this. If it’s any consolation  it took me weeks to be able to cry. I still haven’t had a proper good weep, I think that will come when I have to shave my hair off. 
The start of this journey is so fast & so hard, to me it felt like I was in one of those panic room games. Each week brought a new appointment/operation/hospital visit. I just wanted it to stop. 

You’re doing great. It is a shock but you will get there. You’re not spoiling anyones happiness cos you didn’t ask for this. 
Stay strong and best of luck 

Thanks for your kind words both. I know I am lucky as family around but can see the pain I their faces. Is trying to be super happy to try to reassure them. Of course it’s probably having the opposite effect. Hope both you lovely ladies are coping ok too. Sendin all my love xx

Hi Val

Firstly please stop Googling! Not doing yourself any favours there!

Secondly, I find that telling loved ones comes after actual confirmation of biopsy is better. Although I told my partner from the start it was suspicious! 

Not able to eat, sleep, smile or cry are natural reactions in earlier days post diagnosis. Of course... you're devastated, so please get things off your chest here (no pun intended!!!)

When I first told my colleagues I was honest with them. Asked them just to treat me normally! And they did. So tell the same to your children. They are grown up I presume. They will be able to understand your situation. Life throws you curve balls, bat it back!!!

You need to put a spin on things as it's early days...don't run before you can walk. Take a day at a time as you don't really know what is coming next March bar baby, don't think too far ahead. For all you know you will be able to still be birthing partner. As mums always will do their best for their children, u would do so too (make it your goal to see your grandchild arrive!!!)

Let us know if u have questions or struggle and we can then support you at each phase.

C x

Hi valsy. 

I don’t have more to say than other lovely people but want you to know lots of us are around.  I have days where I think the tears are there but they won’t come up. And days where I can’t keep them in - my kids are smaller so I talk to them about thinking about my dad who died in august  because I don’t want them to be scared, however I also want them to know it’s ok to cry. 

I think what this has taught me through all these supportive ladies is that there’s no strict way to react or navigate. We are all individual. Everything and anything you’re feeling is OK. I feel like whilst your family may be worried, if you didn’t share and confide in them they’d be hurt. My sister keeps telling me - when you ask me for help I feel less helpless. When you try and soldier on I feel like you’re shutting me out.  So I think protecting them is something we need to let go of. What I do try to do is share it out a bit and not cry on the same shoulders all the time !

anyway  I said I had nothing to say and banged on for two paragraphs   Take care and be kind to yourself  there’s no wrong way to deal with this, just get up each day and do what feels right 

xx

Very wise words Haveacuppa...the stormy night is keeping me up!