I don’t like my chemo care nurse. What should I do?

Wow! Emphatically, you should demand, and I do mean demand, that this monster never comes near you again. From what you are telling us here, the answer to her question about whether you want her to stop being a nurse is a definite, "YES!" because she isn't being a nurse, she is being anything but.

You can request to see the Matron, complain about this nurse's behaviour and say you are unwilling to have her "caring" for you again. Also, on the day, when you walk in, if you see you have been allocated to her, tell them to get someone else to care for you. Stand your ground even if they try to persuade you otherwise, and be firm. 

Also, talk to PALs, log in a formal complaint with everything you told us here.

I’m sorry, what a dreadful experience, especially being your first chemo session when you expect great care and kindness in what’s a scary and challenging situation.  We are already having to cope with all sorts of emotions after a  breast cancer diagnosis that I’m shocked a nurse could be so unsympathetic.   I’d like to think she was just having a bad day and this won’t happen again, but if it does I would think about asking someone senior to see if you can be allocated a different nurse for the above reasons and consider making a complaint against this nurse. 

Thanks so much! I really needed someone else to tell me her behaviour was insensitive. 

Should there be someone in my care team who might be able to keep her away from me or do I have to make a formal complaint? 

I wouldn’t know how to contact the matron 

Hello Kiss Tanbul, I've just had my 7th cycle of chemo and it's been very rare to get the same nurse twice. There tends to be a few assigned to each chemo day unit at my hospital, dealing with all of the patients rather than assigned to specific people, plus my chemo session times have varied, so you may find that you do not get the same nurse helping you at your next session. As mentioned above, it may be that she was having a bad day but if you do get her dealing with you again and her manner is the same then I'd suggest just asking to speak to the matron/lead nurse and explain that due to her manner you'd prefer a different nurse. From experience, making a formal complaint to a hospital or PALS has not resulted in any action or meaningful response, just a lengthy delay in hearing back from anyone, although your hospital trust may be different and more proactive. Best of luck with the rest of your treatment as it is a stressful time and you need to feel comfortable with the staff who are treating you x  

Thanks for that suggestion. I will just ask that she doesn’t care for me the next time, rather than doing anything formal. 

Do tell someone from your care team, starting with your key worker (breast cancer nurse in most cases) but in order to find the matron ask one of the other nurses, or talk to the receptionist in the unit, even to the schedulers, someone there would be able to find her for you.

This was interesting to read. In the hospital where I am, there are several rooms, each containing about 6 beds, and two nurses are assigned to each such room. 

In the early days I just went where I was told, but once I got to know them and how they work I asked to be assigned to specific nurses and they were happy to oblige, having realised that I would only let certain people cannulate me (smart veins that sink all the way to the bone when they see a nurse coming.)

So far my experience has been that as long as I keep my manners in and stand firm regarding requests that are completely reasonable, some things will indeed happen as I want them to.

That’s really useful to know that you’ve asked for specific nurses and it hasn’t been a problem. Thanks

I would definitely complain.  Just ask any member of staff to speak to ward manager or sister in charge.  If she treated you like this she will have treated others.  Other nurses must have noticed her attitude so perhaps they would appreciate patients speaking up too.