just diagnosed and so scared

I have my weak moments, but whatever makes you weak makes you stronger. Always be honest with how you feel, it will help you deal with things. The support here is amazing, keep posting, we then can all help each other through the bad and onto better days. xxxxx

Hey Harley

I feel you...and you don't want to have pity. But I think our minds always plays lots of tricks.

For all you know they see you and think how beautifully brave you are.  And that yes you're going through a tough time, but you are facing this for your recovery and getting better. X

At first I was real crossed at my boss for telling my client about my medical situation. But then my client was so understanding and sent me flowers telling how they are supportive and look forward for when I get well again to resume work. I did think everyone is talking behind my back etc esp colleagues but they have been nothing but been treating me normal and encouraging. 

((Hugs)) I know the knock back on confidence. I also have this too at work. I feel so self conscious and can't even string a sentence properly. You know what?? you will get your mojo back...its just laying low for a while, have faith.

C x

Yes harley who can forget 9/11

I need to go another hospital for isotopes 11am and then another hospital for surgery, check in 1300hours!

If u think how much paperwork I need to sign off ..I get scared but what can one do but....

Will be kept overnight. I don't like being away from home without family. But I think I will have the best sleep...thank u GA. Lol haven't been sleeping well since diagnosis day about a little over a month!

Tq for asking...try anything u can...wigs, hats, beanie, scarf (Kylie Minogue did rock a mean head scarf didn't she!) Let's make a pact...you try to overcome hair.....I try to overcome the prosthesis boob. Both equally awkward. I don't think anyone will ever see my face again...lol they may just stare at me chest to figure which is real which is fake ...sigh!! We all have our insecurities

C x

You can only be yourself babe...we love who you are, for better or worse. We bare it all here. I don't even talk boobies to my close friends. So see how important you all are?!?!?! Love to u all girlies

Cx 

Shazzer ..there is a lot of truth in being vulnerable and underlying that is true strength. People who don't confront weakness will never know what it's like to overcome things...once overcome you then go from strength to strength

Hope you're OK? When is your next bout?

Am just trying to keep busy till next Tues. Going for bloods and hair cut tomorrow. Just want to look presentable

C x

My next treatment is the 12th November. Yh I am over come weaknesses, my biggest one was my symptoms started 4 days after my dad passed. To say I felt like a bullet was put through me is an understatement, my mom grieving with the loss of my dad her partner for over 60 yrs. And I tumbled I tumbled really low. Low enough to have my coat on and open the door to walk from my world my son. My one sister held me and said give yourself a chance sis, she was trembling with pain for me and full of grief for my dad. Then my weaknesses started turning to strengths. I have not always been strong, but I look at photo's of my dad and gain strength  its hard but I take one day at a time xxx

Hi all 

Hope you had a good day what ever you been upto.

Seen a few worries about hair loss, if anyone is near huddersfield theres a really fantastic shop that does wigs I can get the name for anyone interested but there pretty expensive apparently.

I was given my wig voucher yesterday hope the cold cap will work and I wont need it!! 2nd was the pic line and more books and papers to read.

Need a filing cabinet at this rate

I had an early start today for an echo scan and a pic line dressing change had to have a nap this afternoon.

Sat in the chemo suite today for 5 mins when I realised this is life now from Tuesday for the next 3 to 4 months 

Nearly had a wobble on the way home but managed to subside the feelings 

From a scared Yorkshire lass trying to stay positive 

Oh sweetheart. (((Big hugs)))

Your sis is a gem, she has such broad shoulders and you can lean on that for sure. Sorry and condolences on your Dad. It's so hard isn't it...for u to process your situation and to also be strong for your family...now you look back...you ought to be proud to overcome you low. Acknowledged it, coming to terms with it all would not have been easy. Nevertheless you made it....I am proud of you. That you chose the brighter path...honestly keep riding on the love of your sis and your son. In time your mum will be able to also support you when the initial loneliness and shock of losing her spouse passes..she too is fight for her strength.

You prob are strong because the women in your family are! I too look at my dad's photo...and feel him fighting this with me. Even though its over 20 yrs ago when he left us, I can remember his mannerisms and smell of old spice and brylcream so clearly!!

One day at a time...step by step...we believe in you!

C x

Thank you Claud, you truly speak such lovely words. I am proud to overcome my low. Yh one day at a time. The support on here is amazing and we all will do this together step by step xxxxx

By the way, I wouldn't worry about your husband's reaction. He did your injections, so that really shows he's on your side and he must know the effects of chemo. Not an easy task, giving injections. He wants you better, we all want you better, he won't mind what you look like as long as you get better and get better you will in the long run. Dexter won't want to miss his walkies either, and that will do you both good. No-one who you don't tell will have a clue. Anyway, people are so busy running their own lives they prob. won't even notice, though of course you imagine they will do. Doesn't matter what anyone else thinks anyway, only your immediate loved ones, and YOU.