Very scared

Hi there, welcome to the forum, I'm one of the champions here in this group and I am glad you found us, as this is a great place for support, a chat or to ask questions.

Whilst it's easy for me to say try not to worry, please try not to worry.   Breast cancer is one of the most treatable types of cancer these days, especially if it's caught early and there are many many positive stories here in this group.

You're now in the time that most find find incredibly difficult - waiting for results.  This is a tough time but once you have a clear plan of what you're dealing with, it tends to become easier.  Best wishes

Hi Boobtube 

I am sorry you have to be here but welcome!

I can only echo what Irishgirl16 has said, this is the worst part. When we hear we have cancer our minds naturally jump to worst case scenarios but breast cancer, particularly early stage, is highly treatable. So, yes, they will help and, yes, they can help. 

I remember the feeling of being so scared like you when I was diagnosed two years ago. There is support out there if you need it, I had some counselling through MacMillan which really helped me. Writing my worries down in a journal also helped and, if you can, get some exercise which in my view is one of the most important things following a diagnosis. I guarantee you will feel better when you have your treatment plan simply by knowing what is happening and when.

Please try and remember that many many people, myself included, have treatment and then go back to their happy and normal lives. 

Hang tight and breathe. x 

Thank you so much! That makes me feel much better. I keep holding on to it being treatable and I am hearing more good stories than bad stories. It is the agony of waiting for the results that's so stressful. You are right, when I have a plan I'll know what to do. I have to trust the doctors. Xx

Really appreciate your words and those ideas. The waiting for a plan is horrible, but yes I just need to breathe and wait for the plan.

I have a diagnosis for bipolar too, so we've reached out to mental health teams to get extra support there. I felt I'd started an episode on finding out but I'm not sure many people take the news well anyway. But either way, there's a system in place. Work is good and supportive.

I'm starting to see the wood for the trees now. I agree, excercise is great. Will try some yoga today. Trying to keep calm, I think that's key.  Thank you, it's lovely to hear positive stories. 

I found that waiting for results meanwhile with a painful biopsy was really hard. I had been told that the lump was cancerous and that more details of treatment beyond taking it out would be dependent on the biopsy results.

Once you get the results, then a treatment plan and meet with the team which will treat you first- surgery or oncology -you will almost certainly feel much better. I did anyway- it felt like getting a bit more control with the help of people who could explain what to do and why.

All the very best. xx

Thank you! It really is a stressful time. It was crazy when I saw it on the screen and I just panicked and wanted to know there and then what it was. I just knew when they asked if someone was with me that it wasn't good news. One of the hardest things is telling people, they are all hysterical and can't stop crying and I'm like "but I'm the one with cancer", but it's shocking to them and they are scared too. I just need to keep myself, and them, calm. I'm happy to give all the treatment a go and will do whatever it takes, but I need people to stop being so scared and hysterical about it. I think the word "cancer" is just so frightening to people. My dad died two years ago of cancer and it was very traumatic, so that's framing the way they see it. But, it was different for Dad. I have to remember all the positive stories too. Indeed, my ex partner, who was diagnosed with Cardiomyopathy and needed a heart transplant at 18 (he was on his third attempt for a heart transplant and if he didn't get one he would have died), then a few years later was diagnosed with Hodgkin's Lymphoma. He survived that also! If he can survive that, I can survive a little abnormal cell growth in my boob. 

It is also very strange that everyone is talking my little ladies all the time now lol! Laughter is the best medicine in this difficult moment, 

Hi Boobtube,

I'm really sorry you're having to go through this, and I just wanted to say hi as we're in a very similar boat at the moment. I have to have another biopsy on Monday (HER2 result came back inconclusive) so it feels like they rush to tell you you have cancer, then there's a limbo period before there's an actual plan. My last biopsy was extremely painful afterwards (well the actual lump is painful 24/7 anyway) so I'll be spending Tuesday (my birthday) in bed and on painkillers.

My dad passed away nearly 19 years ago from infections caused by his chemo, so I totally understand how you and your family feel about that.

I've had the opposite reaction to you from family and friends, who are trying to 'gee me up', 'modern treatments are amazing' etc which is a bit annoying to me and feels like they're minimising what I have to face for the foreseeable future. So I guess we're all different how we would like to be supported. I've had honest conversations with them and told them I'm allowed to feel like this is rubbish, and be sad or angry, so please don't dismiss my feelings. If you're feeling optimistic, it might be an idea to do the same with yours and tell them what you need from them.

Big hugs mate  x

Hi

I'm so sorry you are in bed on your birthday. That's not fair is it. Hopefully at some point you pour yourself a glass of something to celebrate. 

Biopsies kill don't they. How I'd ever manage surgery I don't know. Really hurt. They do seem in a rush to tell you, I guess it's all a guessing game until it's confirmed. Either way, I'm not going into work, I need to get something out of this. My boobs are so massive I've always been battling gravity anyway so it's painful everytime they move. 

I feel your Dad pain too. The grief just floods up and I get so overwhelmed by it. I try to disconnect the two things, but its hard. Everytime I think of him dying, I'm trying to also think of my Grandma who got BC in her 40s, had the lump removed, had 5 sessions of radiotherapy and survived for a long time. That was 30 years ago.

The reactions are hard. I think it is so important that they do what's right for us. We are the frightened ones. It is bloody scary. I've had a word and said to my sister that my mum will have to deal with it because I can't tell her it's all OK. It's about time she dealt with her own mental health anyway, so potential wake up call. I am getting a bit ballsy now, maybe that's a silver lining.

I just spoke to the MacMillan nurse she was so lovely. Really worth a call if you feel able to. They get it. We are all waiting and scared. It's hard but I do empathise with you and know what you're feeling and I hope that helps. Please get yourself something nice when you can make it out. 

Big hugs back (and Happy Birthday) xx

Thank you, you are so sweet. My birthday in bed pales in comparison with what's ahead, and also it does mean I should be healed in time to head to Spain for 12 nights on the 20th! Medical team are aware and supportive, and there's nothing they could object to given we don't have all the information yet. Though I'm booked in for blood tests the day after I get home and with the oncology consultant the day after, so zero breathing space!

My ladies are quite small, so I feel like I'm suddenly carrying around a baseball in my right one. It itches, burns and has stabbing pains through it, so I'm really dreading the pain next week. Just a point though, when you have surgery they'll have you on the good stuff (drugs that actually work). Ibuleve max strength is currently my go to, but I won't be able to use it with the biopsy wound.

I'm turning 47 on Tuesday, but as it's cancelled I'm staying 46 for another year lol. By my age in life I've experienced several family members and friends who have had cancer, some who have beat it and lived on, and some who haven't, but I don't think there's anything that hits you harder than losing a parent. All of those emotions just come right to the top don't they. I watched my dad go from a handsome healthy man to a frail bald old man who I barely recognised. But then I have friends who have beat breast cancer and are still here living their best lives.

It's great you felt able to speak up for yourself with family, it's not easy at all but you need to remember that it's you who is going through the hard stuff, not them.

I'll have a large glass of red in your honour on Tuesday (well I don't really need an excuse lol), and hope that we both have, if not a great week ahead, a good one at least xx

Wow, so cool. Spain for 12 days, that sounds epic and just what you need. Lots of sun, sea and sangrias. You enjoy it! 

That's a relief about the drugs. My boobs are always like baseballs, and now they are causing me even more trouble. Cancer is a bloody nightmare and there are so many good stories and some tragic ones. It always hits hard when it's close to home, like a parent. 

But, yes, you have a big glass of wine, I will too when I get my results and then we move onto the future and what happens next. Have a good week, and chat soon xx