Starting to avoid people because of the silly things they say!!

Sorry to hear you have been diagnosed today. It's the start of a fight which we all deal with differently. My sister told me that she got upset at work because i have cancer. Does she realise how upsetting to hear, that is for me?, not a clue, she rings to see how I am and proceeds to tell me how tired she is and it's all about her. Glad I live on my own. 

I was diagnosed a year ago, stage 3 invasive ductal cancer her2 positive that has got into the lymph.

ive been on chemotherapy since last July every 3 weeks, had two operations and 5 rounds of radio.

my pet hate: it must be easier for you being a medic as at least you understand it all. 
keep positive and if anyone can beat it you can…….

I only found out I have breast cancer and secondary Liver and Bone cancer 11 days ago, I'm devastated. I understand that people don't know what to say to me and I totally get it, but I really do want to tell people to eff off when they tell me to stay positive and I'll beat it. 

You sound an amazing lady.  More adventures will be awaiting for you and you will do your utmost to explore them all  All my very best wishes 

I absolutely agree with what you say 100% .  My own memorable comment from someone hearing I was about to have chemo was 'well it's the side effects of those drugs that kill you".  A weal smile from me as I walked on.......

@Town Fan People don't know what to say because there is nothing really they can say so they just blurt out words.  Have you got someone to talk to about how you are feeling regarding your diagnosis.  There are a lot of ladies on here living with secondary cancer.  You might find it helpful to speak with those in the same position as you.  Secondary cancer forum

Anna12345

You are not alone , everyone tells me I'm going to be fine ! The only person I want to say that to me is my cancer surgeon and thank god he did say that . I'm fed up with some too

For, example ,

I told close colleagues where I work teaching at a College but I didn't want anyone else to know . I came under a lot of pressure to tell my line manager so I did she is a bit of a loony tune so I regret that . I wanted to go off , as its the summer have my boobs removed and tell the rest of the staff afterwards? Seems a good idea to me but friends said , oh tell her as she will be doing the timetables for September, I don't give a flying fart about the timetables.  I don't want anyone to  feel sorry for me or looking at me with pity eyes! Anyway, I'm distancing myself too now  I got new friends now on here (lol) and they talk more sense .  So this is my plan; my surgery should be this Monday I'm going in and out next day and then I may let some people know . I don't want flowers or cards or funny emails from work just want them to leave me alone. I told HR don't email me I will not be logging on all I want from work is my pay and holidays carried over for the end of what ever treatment I need to have.

I will not be shaving my head if the chemo decides to rid me of my hair well so be it because its ridding me of the cancer at the same time.

I'm not having reconstruction because I have gone passed the point of caring if I have boobs at all in fact they are causing me a little bit of trouble right now so they can go! I never liked them anyway they were too big so I'm going to have small faux ones inside my bra and buy a whole new wardrobe ! 

Take care .

Yes I tend to do the humour thing too. I rechristened radiotherapy “topless sunbathing”. I have been “accused`’ of being brave and amazing, but the truth is more like I was busy doing treatment, going to appointments, keeping track of the paperwork etc. I get the caught it early thing from people too, I am grateful for that of course, but I have still got the weight of the cancer experience in my heart and mind. It is indeed a lonely journey, but it is good to find other travellers here. Hope you work out ways to cope and can share them, but when there are difficulties share those too. I think we are here to help each other identify our problems, and hopefully find a way of living them.

I think we become really good at smiling and telling people we are just getting on with it. The reality is somedays it's just too hard . I retreat into myself when it gets too hard until I can put my face on and become the person people want to see. The only person who sees the reality is my husband who sees me struggling with side effects of treatment. I opened the door to my mother in law this week and she said you look really tired just what I wanted to hear !!sending love to you all. Its OK to not be OK some days xx

I'm so sorry for your diagnosis I was diagnosed with secondary bc in Feb it is completely devastating.Some days I feel reasonably well other days just overwhelmed by it all. We need to be kind to ourselves. Sending lots of love