Cancer diagnosis Fri 13th

Hi, I'm in a very similar situation to you.  Children of simiar ages and a similar diagnosis (Grade 3 invasive).  I just found out on 5th November.  I was dreading telling my children,, but I was gentle and just said I needed chemicals to shrink it a bit before the do surgery to remove.  My eldest asked me 'is it cancer' and I said yes, but its ok its treatable.  I have to say, they were brilliant, and took it in their stride.  I also had to tell my father who is 85 and we just lost mum a year ago, so I was dreading that.  But he has been through cancer and thankfully although upset was 'ok, well we just need to get this treatment under way and get you well'..

Its a lot to take in is'n't it?  I have had CT scan yesterday which was just amazing - so quick I need not have worried.  I have bone scan next Tuesday, and then discuss their findings on Thursday.  Fingers crossed its just in the one place.

I feel for you, as obviously I really know how you feel.  But I know we can do this, with the support of our loved ones, and I am sure we will get comfort from sharing and asking on here.

All the best wishes P. 

Hello ,so sorry to hear your diagnosis but very glad you have found this forum as everyone is very supportive.

There is a trend towards doing chemotherapy first in some circumstances, I had it first as was grade 3 and positive lymph nodes so they wanted to start asap as that is what kills the cancer cells. I was upset that first as I wanted the lump out asap a nd also didn't want surgery when in was feeling battered by chemo. BUT I'm so glad now I had it that way as the lump shrank massively over the 6 months so it was a real morale boost as I could see it was working. When I had surgery there was only dead cells, a complete pathological response. So now I have real hope that if any stray cells had gone anywhere else they are dead to o. If I'd had surgery first I wouldn't know this.

Re the heart scan a rare side effect of one of the treatments is can cause damage to the heart so they monitor this. Are you HER+? The treatment for that is called herceptin and you will have heart scans every 3 months.

I'm sorry you felt rushed and couldn't ask questions. It may be possible to book another appointment with the breast nurse on her own and she can go over things in more detail with you, even if it's just a phone call.

Re telling the children, my daughter's  9 so we got away with saying I had a lump for a long time till she was talking to someone at school and they told her about cancer. I went in and spoke to the head teacher before I started treatment and she was really supportive, she arranged for her to have a "codeword" that if she was feeling upset in school she could just say without having to explain and she could go and sit in the corner and read. The school has kids with learning and physical difficulties as well, and the teacher who looks after them has done a lot of supportive work with her.

Almost everyone in here would say that where you are now is the abso!it's worst time. When you have all the information and treatment starts it gets easier because you feel like you are fighting back. 

There are various threads onnhere, there is a monthly one for people going through chemo, radiotherapy. One called awake where people just chat,post funny memes etc. Or you can always start your own if you have a specific question.

Good luck with everything and take care and keep posting xxxx

Ps! One thing about having chemo first is that if it shrinks the lump enough it may be possible to have less extensive surgery in some cases x

P,

Thank you for your words. I've haven't logged in for a while, had a wk of appointments & scans.

Sorry to hear about your diagnosis, and yes it's a lot to take in. Hope you and family are managing. I've told my girls and said similar to you. Checked they understood what cancer was answered their questions. My eldest was the one seemed much more upset and keeps checking on me. Which us making me feel guilty.

Your dad is right there is nothing to be done except get this treatment underway. Wishing him the best health.

I'm in the same boat as you with regard to secondary cancer. Dont know yet and waiting for HER2 results too. 

Worried that I may be triple negative now. Waiting and reading too much is not good!

Best wishes to you and family. xx

Hello Cheeboe,

Thank you so much for posting yr response. It answered a lot of questions that the oncologist pretty much said the same as you did when I saw her mid week. 

I haven't had my HER2 results in yet. So worried about being triple negative. And also waiting for results of secondary cancer scans too.

I'm so glad to hear the chemo killed the cancer cells! Hooray! Must have felt great and a huge relief to know the treatment was working. 

I haven't contacted girls schools yet but will do. It's good to hear your daughter's school has been so supportive and 'codeword' is a brilliant idea. 

I'm going to take some time to familiarise myself with the forum on here. ( tbh the site is not the easiest to navigate) but started with chemo thread the tips were really useful. Already purchased a few things that I wouldn't have known about.

If you don't mind me asking where are you with treatment? 

Wishing you and family all the best. xx

Hi SerenaK.  Your breast care nurse (BCN) will be able to answer all your quesions regarding your diagnosis and treatment.  If you want to see what other people are going through just click on their name and it will take you to their profile page.  Many members actually put their story in their profile to save having to write it several times.

Thank you Leslie. I didn't realise profile page would have info. And it can be tiresome repeating information. Will have a look. 

Best wishes, S

 my story on profile .

Hi ,sorry you've found yourself a member of the club nobody wants to be on .....but you will find it a great place to be for support and answers . 

This waiting time in between appointments and treatment is the worst time you will find it better once treatment is ongoing .

As someone has already said chemo first means it can work on reducing the size of cancer therefore making it easier to remove .

Please stay away from dr google he's out of date and usually wrong . Post as often as you like ..ask questions ,vent,rage,chat or even have a giggle .

The site does feel a little awkward to navigate but they have updated it and been left with some issues .

If you click on discussion forum at top of page you will get list just scroll thru Awake is where there is a lot of activity even thru the night hence the title .we do like to have a joke and a chat on there but we can offer a lot of info between us .

We get called the fruitloops  

Thank you Margaret, 

Haven't logged in since weekend. So sorry I missed your message. I've had so many appts since the 13th. Thank God (am agnostic!) there is no secondary cancer and lymph nodes are clear. Since this bombshell, I was ready to hear the worst. 

I'm grade 3, Stage 2, HER2+ and they've gone over a treatment plan incl meds with me, as Drs were previously waiting on some results. Much of my questions asked for now. 

I start chemo next week. So I think 'll venture on to awake or some other discussion and join the fruitloopers! 

Yes you are completely right about Dr Google, but can't stop yet. Today I resolved not to and did some excercise. 

Quite a bit of prep to do before chemo too, but one step at a time... 

Best wishes, S

xx