Help please

Dear DaisyStalk

you are going through a real roller coaster and I wish I could offer more than mere good wishes for a successful outcome. My wife had reconstructive surgery after a lumpectomy with no complications. The only advice I can offer is borne out of a bit of a rough ride over my lifetime caused by this wretched disease. You have done exactly the right thing by posting on this site, a positive move to overcome the rubbish life has thrown at you. I have used similar sites over the years and found the feeling of not being alone in my agony, at any hour, any day, really helpful. So keep posting, I’m sure you will find others you can assist as well as be assisted.

In my darkest times I have had to resort to thinking about one step at a time, even to get out of bed, showered and dressed - that took 3 days to get that far. So one step at a time to get you moving and your day started. Be easy on yourself, you are dealing with a huge deal here, don’t set yourself impossible targets and when the anxiety starts to rise, take slow, long deep breaths and force your shoulders to relax as you breath out.

Wishing you all the best with everything in the future.

Thank you very much for taking the time to reply to my post. I've used the Macmillan support line before but have never posted anything. I know there's no magic wand unfortunately and I have had a lot to deal with. Sometimes hearing some kind words does actually help and knowing others have been through difficulties too.

Again, thank you for your kind wishes and all the best to you.

MrT1......Thank you. Despite all your difficulties you are making such calm, sensible contributions to this site. I'm sure you will be helping many who just read but don't  post.

Like you, I have always believed in small targets. They were really necessary for me during chemo. I am obviously delighted that many posters have side effects which enable them to continue with some normality but I have always worried for those who cannot. It is so important to stress the message that no one knows how the treatment will effect them. There isn't a right or wrong way to react........for whatever reason ....if you feel you can't get on.( for me it was physical sickness if I moved my head)....you must accept that and set those tiny targets to aim for. They are as important as the larger targets........and no one should feel guilty because that's as far as they can go.

I hope your treatment is progressing well now MrT1. Whilst I'm sorry you have to be here, you're going to be so important especially with awareness for men concerning this disease. 

Take care. Karen

Hi Karen

that is really a lovely post, thank you very much. It seems to me you have been helping many people yourself!
chemo is my current dread, anyone who decides to go through the treatment has my complete admiration and I know the effects escalate the further down the cycles you get, so how brave to get back to the hospital each time knowing the side effects. I watched my wife go through chemo and the myriad of pills that followed, she was so brave throughout. You are exactly right. Everyone must find their own best way to cope with this rubbish part of the journey. Be good to yourself Karen and give yourself a huge pat on the back and a reward after each step in this journey
Keep posting as I’m sure you are a terrific help to others here

every best wish

mark

Hi MrT1, you’re already being a great help yourself on the site, I’ve read a few of your posts, and you will be really reassuring for the very few men who find they need to post here! 
I am totally with you on watching someone close to you go through chemo, you want to take it in their place. I said that to our daughters nurse on her first ever and bless her, she put me straight. Sadly she said that at her age she should get straight into remission and of course she didn’t but had to endure far more.  But she’s coping now, in remission for over 9 years....

keep on keeping on, lovely man!

Hugs xxx

Hi ,

I hope the replies have been helpful; but I was told that any breast surgery takes a long time to regain a ‘normal-for-you’ shape; I’m not quite sure why, but I think it may have something to do with a lot of what they call soft tissue. My Mx with implant has changed quite a lot over the last couple of years, it was very ‘tight’ to begin with and gradually softened and now has a bit of a droop. I hope your experience improves so that you’ll feel better about it all soon.... keep posting.,..
hugs xxx

Hi Moomy

Thanks very much for your message - that's very helpful. I've had another appointment with my consultant today and I'm still clinging on to the chance of having an implant. I guess it's a longer journey than any of us wanted to go on!

Kind words from people who have also experienced what cancer and treatment can throw at you does really help me feel not so alone.

Thank you xx

Awww, bless you, on here you’re never alone! If you find you’re wide awake and fretting in the night, don’t forget that there’s the ‘AWAKE....’ thread which has quite a few of us old hands tackling all sorts of subjects, sometimes through the night. It’s not all laughs and not all doom and gloom either. We are a little loopy sometimes, so have adopted the name ‘fruit loops’
If you have a read and itch to post, please do feel free, the official caretaker is on holiday at present (and I think she needs and deserves it) but I’m sure she will be happy to greet you on her return! 
hugs xxx

Thank you - I wasn't aware of that thread but I've had a look now. Certainly capable of being loopy

xx