Newly diagnosed , taking time off work

Hi Catherine

I didn’t have chemo so my path was different, but I found the time after diagnosis until surgery the most stressful and I didn’t work from then until two weeks after surgery (about 2.5 months in total). I tried to go back a couple of times (I’d read about people being ‘brave’ and working and thought that’s what I should be doing too), but with one thing and another cropping up I simply couldn’t as too upset. My work directly impacts families so it wouldn’t have been appropriate for me to continue as I couldn’t focus. If you can cope and feel okay, then great, continue working. If you don’t then please don’t feel guilty and take the time for you. Our jobs are important but they aren’t everything and will still be there when this is all over. After all, that’s what the sickness policies are in place for. x 

Hey LadyCath, 

Welcome welcome! 
So I was diagnosed exactly a month ago. It’s taken the four weeks to get the full extent of diagnosis - find the primary cancer source, understand the extent of the cancer and get a plan in place post endless scans and biopsys. 
I too have a big job and two kids both with additional needs so quite a lot to juggle, my kids are 13 and 11 with EHCPs.  

I guess it depends on where your head is and everyone is different. I’m still working and will continue to do so until a few days before surgery so for me it’s business as usual. I took a couple of days post the “it’s cancer” conversation just to get my head around it  and we told the girls once we had all the answers. As kids they’ve absorbed it and every now and then ask a question or two before getting on with life. That may change as I become more poorly but kids are amazingly resilient. Their schools are aware and we are just keeping the conversation going with them so when things come up we are aligned. Right now I am playing the waiting game for confirmation of my op date, so for me personally It’s  better keeping life as normal as possible otherwise it’d be easy to spiral. I’ve actually found handling the “I’ve got cancer” conversations with friends and family harder, it’s been quite exhausting to keep talking about it, so I’ve found working just keeps my mind busy. I know I’m having a double mastectomy full node clearance and they’ll reconstruct me so it’s a big operation and hormone radio and potentially chemo tissue testing dependent. 

There’s no right or wrong here or should or shouldn’ts. It’s  your body and your diagnosis so only you know what’s best for you. I think it depends on where you are personally, the support you have around you from family and friends and how you cope. My work is being supportive and I have everything planned and in place for my immediate team and function for when I will be out of action and depending on how treatment goes I’ll face the recovery and return to work decision at each stage when I get there. You know you! 

I hope this helps, E xx

Hi,

I took a year out from work, I have extremely supportive employers, who let me take the time ️ needed to recover. I had a lumpectomy, chemo, then a double mastectomy with Right axilla clearance.  I did feel guilty at times and why wasn’t I like others who battled through work.  Everyone reacts differently to the diagnosis and treatments that folllow , I just knew I couldnt .  after the treatment and surgeries you will may need recovery time also. It’s quite a bumpy ride at times, you will get there xxx

It’s a difficult one because everyone’s treatment is a little bit different and our responses to treatment are different. I had surgery first (a wide excision and 4 lymph nodes removed). I was semi retired at the time but had some ongoing non exec Board positions and some consultancy I did from home. I bounced out of surgery without issues. I had planned to do nothing for 10 days or so afterwards but could happily have worked even the day after surgery. I then had 24 weeks of chemo. That was harder, I don’t think I could have worked full time nor would I have been wanting to travel a lot. Bowel issues were a regular issue and it was usually helpful to have a nap after lunch. I worked from home some of the time and did travel to meetings on some of the days. Radiotherapy didn’t pose a problem at all.

I don’t think I would have wanted to be off sick for months at a time. The work was a key part of my identity and the social contact it provided was helpful. I told people my situation where I thought it would be obvious or helpful for me, but kept it quiet in other settings. I continued attending one set of board meetings whilst wearing a wig and I don’t think anyone twigged.