How can I support my friend?

Hi, regular supportive calls are great, just let her know you are there and that you care.  She's lucky to have such a good friend x

Thank you so much for your response. You are too kind. Simple advice but never truer thank you. X 

Ask her how you can help and understand if she says she’s not ready to talk. Ask if she’d prefer emails or texts if she doesn’t want to talk on the phone. 

Send the occasional card. It’s lovely up get something in the post that’s not health related. 

I found it lovely to have a couple of friends who were always keeping an eye on me lol, but was a bit shocked at a couple of close friends who never really bothered.  I guess some people just don't know how to deal with it x 

How lovely of you to ask. A lot depends on her treatment but I’d agree with the others, just stay in touch. Text and calls are great, I appreciated those text that said ‘thinking of you, here when you want me and don’t text back if you don’t have capacity but know I care’. It might just be me but don’t send flowers, I got so many flowers and then had to track down vases, look after them, I felt like someone had died in my house, it was depressing!! All that money wasted when my local hospice is desperate for funds. I appreciated sensitive skin body lotions, especially if it was a brand I couldn’t afford!! But that’s only pertinent if she’s having chemo really. But my point is if you want to send a gift, make it a personal one. All the best to her and you x

How lovey to support your friend.

For me, the help from friends ( near and far) has been invaluable by receiving regular short messages/ phone calls/ visits and receiving cards/ flowers. I value hearing about what they're up to ie normal life! Also I appreciate their respectful listening to what I need to say ( which to be honest is usually brief about the cancer).

I feel friends can only cope with so much, so I try to protect them from a lot of my feelings, but value  them just being there, even a brief text will suffice. I also want to laugh and get away from the severity of cancer diagnosis sometimes so if friends veer towards the subject I steer them away.

In summary, just be there for them with regular contact whichever way works best for your situation, and respectful listening to see what they want to say and what they need. They are lucky to have you.

I think that's a lovely idea - sending something in the post. She will like that. Great suggestion. 

Sorry to hear some of your friends were not able to be there for you. Sounds like you got the help you needed from those who put you first. X 

I agree flowers can sometimes be depressing. That's a great suggestion re the sensitive skin body lotions. She's had her first round of chemo today. She said she's pleased that she's getting on with it and fighting back. She thinks she will loose her hair even though she's wearing a cold cap. I'm gutted for her as she has beautiful long blond hair. She is so brave. Is there anything you think I can get her to help with hair loss? How can I be helpful? 

I think my friend is similar to you in that I think she would prefer to catch up about what's happening with the kids and normal life then dwell on what happening with her treatment. I just want to scrunch her up into a big cuddle