New to this…!

Hi HopeH

Welcome to the forum and I am sorry top hear that you were diagnosed with breast cancer and needed a mastectomy.  The waiting for results is hard but once you know them things should start to feel better hopefully.  There is no right or wrong way to feel about a cancer diagnosis and it's ok not to feel positive about it.

Wishing you the best of luck with your results.

Best wishes

Daisy53

Hi HopeH 

I'd echo what Daisy53 said: there is no right or wrong way to feel about cancer and it's okay not to feel positive about it. 

Do you have a Maggie's Centre near you ? I found them very helpful, in so many ways - endless cups of tea, free biscuits, friendly faces and shoulders to cry on. One of the counsellors there told me the words "Be Positive" were banned ! 

There's an article somewhere on this site called "Toxic Positivity." I'll see if I can find a link to it. 

I also found Macmillan nurses very helpful. I rang them using the number on this site. 

Please be gentle with yourself. 

Hi HopeH

As others have said, there is no right or wrong way to feel and being told to “be positive” is unhelpful. I wasn’t positive between diagnosis and surgery with all the waiting and more waiting... I was shocked, in denial, then scared and anxious, tired and hungry, and when surgery was cancelled twice was frustrated and at times outright furious. I certainly wasn’t positive! But, these feelings did pass, for me this was when I finally had the surgery, for others this may be at a different stage in their journey. 

The most helpful thing I found was a journal. A simple notebook where I dumped all those feelings on a page. I did this every morning, even if I was feeling okay. It was almost like giving myself a dedicated time to think and feel about my cancer and then the book was closed for the rest of the day. Didn’t always work, and thoughts and worry did of course creep in at other times, but it helped. 

Keep talking here, there are people to support you, however you are feeling. x