New to the group

Hi. I can remember that day like it was yesterday. After I had been recalled for the second mammogram I knew I had cancer and tried to convince my husband that it was what i had. I also had a biopsy the same day as the second mammogram. Both myself and my husband were present for the results, only time he was allowed to attend a hospital appointment with me as post covid. When the breast nurse informed me that the biopsy had come back positive, my world seemed to stop and people were talking around me asking questions which my brain couldn't process at that point. 

I can remember being asked if I had any questions but said no. Asked if I could leave and they said that was fine and that they would send me another appointment.

I was in that world for a good two days when I appeared to come into the real world and worked out how to tell the children. They were 40 and 37 at the time. That was the hardest part.

Hope this is helpful. Good luck for the future and take each day/step as they come. 

Hi, my kids are 19/18/16 and 14. And the youngest is Autistic. No idea how to tell them what is going on as I don't know how I feel about it yet as it's only been 48hrs since the diagnosis. 

I'm worried about how it'll effect them mentally and emotionally. 

It's a whirlwind when you are first diagnosed. I wasn't diagnosed until I had biopsy - how have they diagnosed yours? My hubby and I were shocked. I had tried to prepare us for it but everyone was telling me to be positive and it wouldn't be. My first reaction was how soon can I get surgery and start my journey. That was first point of focus. Sending hugs your way xxx

I had a biopsy done on Friday and they've said depending on the stage etc will decide the treatment. 

I'm concerned about how the kids will cope with the journey of the treatment. Hugs your way too

It might be worth speaking to the Macmillan support line re the children. They may be able to point you in the right direction esp with your autistic child. They could really surprise you and be incredibly strong.

Thank you, I'll defo do that as I want to make sure he understands what's happening. 

Hi Becky sorry to hear if your recent diagnosis. I got my diagnosis on 31 Jan and have just had 3rd round of chemo. My son is 19 and has Asperger’s and so I was concerned about how to tell him (he’s also away at uni) I waited until I had a clear treatment plan and then explained it to him that way as he is only interested in facts. I made light of it as he is going to be away for most of my treatment. Whatever you decide to do you will know how to handle it at the time 

Thank you, I'm waiting till I know my treatment before I tell them. 

Hi Becki - I am sorry you find yourself here in this club. I was diagnosed just before Xmas, I told my son (who was 8 at the time) once I knew everything, I wanted the full picture before telling him so I could tell him what would happen and what I would go through. You will be surprised how resilient children are. I think its important to make it clear that you will be okay, I didn't say at first it was cancer, I told him I had a lump that was nasty and needed removing, but he did ask what the lump was called - the word cancer is what scared him the most. Being able to tell him it had been caught early and that it was all treatable but I was going to not feel myself for a while. He took it so well and that night in bed we had a good chat, I didn't push but gave him some thinking time. Sending hugs x

Thank you, it's good to hear other people's kids reactions. It makes me feel a little more at ease about telling mine once I know the full treatment plan etc. Hugs to you too