Hi

Hi Sharon, I have also just joined in the hope people who are further on their journey can help with suggestions of what might  help, it is really scary I’ve just had my surgery after feeling something didn’t feel right and two Dr’s saying nothing to worry about it is such a shock to find out you do and just when you think you’ve come to terms boom your hit with more information you’ve not been expecting my feet haven’t touched the floor.  From what I’ve read so far your thoughts and feelings seem perfectly normal, wishing you all the best x

Hi Sharon CS and Dog Lady 2022, a very warm welcome to the forum. All very normal feelings and emotions, in fact however you feel should be regarded as normal as it’s a real rollercoaster so feelings can change from one moment to the next! Sorry you find yourselves here but it’s a great place for support and shared experiences. And it’s also a great place to say whatever you like which can be therapeutic in itself! 
Re having a positive outlook, I personally feel that the most important thing is to be kind to yourself and let yourself feel whatever you need to. We’re so often trying to look after others and help them in practical and emotional terms that I think we can overlook our own needs. It’s a shocking time and we need a chance to process what’s happening as well as to adjust to each stage. A positive outlook is great but we can’t help feeling negative at times so I’ve learned not to give myself a hard time for it. 
Wishing you both well and sending big virtual hugs your way, HFxx 

Thank you both Dog Lady 2022 and Happy Feet1 for your replies. It’s a horrible shocking, life changing situation we find ourselves in. I’m scared but in those moments when I allow myself to believe this is actually happening I am determined to get through this and come out the other side, cancer free and still me x

Hi Sharon. Sorry you find yourself here. Your feelings are normal.  It's a lot to take in.

I have had two excisions with chemo in between.  The second surgery found no cancer cells.

The chemo isn't easy but you do get through it. Let people help you with practical things especially as you have children. 

Loosing your hairs not easy either. I had cold caps and kept 50 percent of my hair. It's worth considering and if not there are some good wigs for short term use on the nhs .

I'm nearly 3 months after chemo now and my hair is growing in well.

Good luck you will get through.

Xx

Hi there and sorry to hear you have recently been diagnosed. it sounds like you are having a normal reaction to this huge thing that has just happened to you. I would guess that allowing our feelings to be expressed so that we can journey on towards some sort of coming to terms with cancer is more important than positive mindset. Buried feelings and unprocessed ones are not going to help us on our way. I spoke to the Macmillan support line a few times, just to get it all out, and found it hugely helpful and felt much better for it.

In terms of looking after your outcome, the usual things like good diet where its realistic helps. And also regular daily exercise - walking if you can't do more, cardio when you can and resistance training to take care of your muscles as you head in to menopause all help. The exercise helps with surgical recovery, dealing with chemo if you need it, radiotherapy and general health.

For now, try to be kind to yourself. It is early days and you have had a lot to take on board in the last 2 weeks. Wishing you all the very best for your treatment

xxx

Thank you Bobbiboo, can I ask if the cold cap was painful? I’ve read that it can be. Also I have long hair and read that cold caps work better with shorter hair. Wondering if I should cut my hair and try the cold cap. I’ve never had short hair, my hair is very much part of my identity which is why I am so upset at the prospect of losing it. 
I’m really pleased to hear yr out of chemo and yr hair is growing back. Xx

Thank you Zephyr. I might try calling the support line as I do worry that when I’m sharing my fears with my husband that he will have his own fears and worries and then mine on top to deal with. 

This diagnosis is a wake up call to me. Throughout my life it’s been peaks and troughs re my exercise habits. Just now I walk a fair bit and cycle when the weather is good but I don’t do any specific cardio or resistance type exercise. I’m still quite uncomfortable following surgery, the drain came out early so I have a lot of fluid build up, going to have it aspirated again on Monday, but once that is more manageable pain wise I will def look at introducing cardio and resistance type exercise. I just want to get through this and live my life in a healthier way to tip the scales in my favour moving forward. 
thank you for your advice, it helps me feel that there are positive steps I can take to take back some of the control I feel was taken by this diagnosis. 
thank you for yr good wishes. Take care x

I had a long bob and had it cut into a short bob. Its probably better shorter due to the weight pulling on it. 

It's not painful . You have it on for about half an hour to an hour before and after chemo depending on the chemo drugs you are having.  Its uncomfortable for the first 15 minutes but the nurses used to get me heat packs to hold and a blanket and I always put a couple of t shirts on under my jumper.  After the first 15mins it's not too bad. Just take a book to distract yourself.

I had a lot off hair loss after my second chemo (EC) which I think is common so don't let that put you off.  There was hair everywhere which was upsetting and another reason why shorter hair might be better. After that I didn't loose much and kept about 50 percent of hair. 

I now still have a short bob 3 months after finishing chemo. My hair is thin and I feel like I have a carpet on my scalp where it is growing back in so I'll keep a short bob until the new hair catches up.

I'd certainly recommend trying cold caps and persevering with it. It made such a difference for me keeping some of my hair, I had wigs on the nhs but didn't hardly use them.

Xx

Thank you Bobbiboo, that’s really helpful to know. X