Hello

Hi Jennie

I can identify with your feelings. I had a screening detected early breast cancer 8mm. Nonidea it was there and it couldn't be felt by anyone. Hormone positive. Surgery on 7th December got good clear margins and lymph node was clear so straight onto 5 sessions of RT that finished this week plus hormone med for 5 years

Fortunately everything was pretty straightforward. No nasty surprises and no complications and good physical recovery. It feels unreal especially when you hear the experiences of many of the women on this forum. I keep expecting a curved ball to come hurling towards me but instead I have the  moving on book given to me. 

It takes time to process and I am ensuring that I do that. Today has been a very tearful day. Irrespective of what treatment I have had I had cancer and that is life changing. I didn't know there were so many types of breast cancer until I was diagnosed but all come with anxiety fear and uncertainty and you are no fraud I promise 

Xxx

Hi Jennie, I feel exactly the same, mammogram picked up an 8mm lump (turned out it was 25mm). Had the result from lumpectomy and lymph node bisopy yesterday  -  all clear.  Will now have 5 sessons of RT and hormone therapy and then off i go!  I also feel a fraud when i tell people i have / had breast cancer, expecially when i read about what other ladies are going through. 

Oh wow it’s good to know I am not alone with my thoughts…. Routine mammogram callback in Oct and that showed 9mm tumour. Not felt by dr or anyone and they had great difficulty finding it for biopsy and everything….  Biopsy’s showed invasive ductal and I had surgery 2nd Dec with lymph nodes x 2 taken.  Just before going into the op I was  greeted by the surgeon as “the lady with the minuscule lump”  Made me feel so bad and really affected me. It was likeI feel a fraud also but in my head cancer is cancer!!!! At follow up appt I was told thankfully that good margins were taken  and lymph nodes clear and that was that. I would be fine after 5 radiotherapy treatments. Just can’t cope with everyone saying it was small/ it was got in time/ you are fine now/ get on with your life…. I feel as I have a life sentence as before this was in peak condition on no medication whatsoever and running 5k two or three times a week. I feel as if my whole life has changed and nobody understands…. I won’t mention the side effects of Tamoxifen. I know there are such sad stories around cancer and that’s why I feel so bad but can’t help how I feel. 

Hi Littlerua

I can empathise. I dont know how old you are but I am 57 and previously fit well and active. . I have just met a couple of friends for lunch and said how surreal the past 3 months have been. Living with the long term emotional consequences is looking like a challenge right now but I have counselling lined up which I think will help. It's all been so quick which is great but my head needs to catch up . I too had comments from the breast care team about " this why we do screening so we can sort it out quickly" They did but I am now left living the trying to make sense of what that means fir me 

It'll take time so be kind to yourself x

Hi 

I totally agree that there are people worse off that us but a MacMillan Nurse summed it up for me which I have thought of many times since diagnosis, she said:

Everyone’s Cancer is different, this is yours, and it is as important and as devastating  to you as everyone elses is to them. It will take as long as it takes to heal and you need to take as long as you need to heal emotionally to move forward 

Hope this helps you as it helps me in those - mines only small moments x

Do you have a breast care nurse  you can talk to about this? , your definitely not a fraud & it's really not very nice they have spoken to you like this.

I had a small lump. ,11 mm no lymp spread.

Having a cancer lump no matter  how small it is is still cancer.

Xx