Daughter has Breast Cancer

Sure. Welcome to the community no one wants to be eligible for. Many people struggle with the word, "Cancer." In the past, this word used to be nearly synonymous with death, and although this is no longer the case, the word still carries this for a lot of people.

You may want to take a look at the Family and Friends forum here: https://community.macmillan.org.uk/cancer_experiences/family-and-friends-forum as you will find there more people whose situations are similar to yours than here. 

As a mother of several children I feel empathy both with you and your daughter. It is really horrible having to see a child of ours go through something like this, and you have my appreciation for helping her in spite of the struggle and your own disability. From my point of view as a someone who has cancer I can tell you that the fact that she knows you are there to support her to the best of your ability would be of great help in itself, regardless of the amount of help you can actually provide. So you are already doing things that are effective and are making things to that degree better for her.

Hi Kellywelly.

Sorry that you daughter has joined the big breast cancer club who are here to support her, her family and yourself.

Like you I had friends who could not say the word cancer so I have my breast cancer a name. I called it cancer clare and people found it easier to talk about clare dropping the word cancer. Give it a try, I found it strange at first but it did knock down doors for others. Also due to it being hormone fed needed to oestrogen tablets and when I had a biopsy they also put a small piece of metal in which got the name metal micky and then another one put on prior to the op which my granddaughter called metal Minnie.

Have you also been in touch with macmillan to see what help they can offer you and your grandchildren not forgetting your daughter.

It’s me that struggles with saying the word. It’s really only been since she started chemo that it had become so real to me. I can now see her feeling sick and tired and drained. It’s horrible but I try to keep her spirits up. I was talking to someone from MacMillan yesterday and it was them who suggested I join this group. Xx

I can understand you being unable to say cancer, Polegate have a chat with your daughter about you giving it another name and explain why. I'm sure she won't mind as it will show her that you are not denying what she has.

I class myself as lucky as I didn't need chemo just radiotherapy so can only imagine what your daughter is going through from what I have read on this site. All I can hope for is that someone follows this and is able to help you to help your daughter. However I think just being there for her and the children is a positive for her.

She may not be able to thank you and you may take the brunt but she'll thank you later so stick with her.