1 day post op - lumpectomy and node biopsy - feel awful!

Hi Stringbean.  Welcome to the club you never planned on joining as they say.  I find all of it a roller coaster of emotions.  However it sounds like you're in the thick of treatment without much time to process this change in your life. As a single mum with a teenager and elderly parent I'm sure you must feel totally overwhelmed at present.

Remember there is support for family members. You have probably informed your daughters school. Pastoral support is fab in schools and I would hope they would help you help your daughter at this time. 

You will find many supportive ladies on here, many with more experience than me and with wonderful words of wisdom and empathy.  Go easy on yourself, don't put pressure on yourself and you'll get through the festive period.  If you're in pain you can request strong pain killers. Hope you feel more comfy soon. I've had 2 ops and found the first fortnight the worst in both cases. Here if you need a chat. X

Good morning and welcome to the club. Like you I had a Lumpectomy and lympth nodes removed, this was in September and today is my last day off radiotherapy. Prior to this I was a healthy 62 year old and my birthday present for my 63rd birthday was being diagnosed with breast cancer. 

Firstly can I say put Dr Google away and speak to your breast care team about concerns or ring Macmillan. Both will be able to answer your questions and put your mind at rest. 

Secondly it sounds like your daughter is frightened. Both my children are adults so they were able to process the news better than my granddaughter who when I told her had Mr deaf and buried. I took her to one side and we spoke about how I did have cancer but I was going to beat it with her help and the help of the nurses and doctors, my granddaughter does have learning disabilities. Remind your daughter that breast cancer is one of the most curable cancers.

Thirdly don't cancel Christmas just have a smaller one than planned and make a plan about who is going to do what and when. You don't need to have a full Christmas dinner with all the trimmings it could be as simple a fish fingers and oven chips, it's about being together as a family and enjoying what you have. That is one thing that having breast cancer taught me and my family as we took each other for granted thinking we were invincible. 

You will have many emotions over the coming few months, you'll go from why me to crying to being extremely angry this I believe is quite normal, well I hope so as I did it all. But there are positives in all of this and as hard as they are to see you will find yours e. g you have your family around you. Find something you, your daughter and mother can do together. Oh and if friends /family say is there anything they can do give them some thing it makes them feel happy and takes the jobs of your to do list. 

Enjoy Christmas and look forward to the New Year with new beginnings. Make plans that involve having something to look forward to. 

Life is for living and enjoying. Good luck for your future not that you will need it because it is going to be great and look have a positive outlook. 

Thank you so much for your reply.  Yes I’ve had the full rollercoaster of emotions already and still are unsure how the hell I’m going to actually keep the roof over our heads in the coming months.  Right now I just feel really lonely.  My mum wants me to go to hers so she can be at home and look after me there.  The thought of a two hour car trip is too much right now.  She’s confused and discombobulated at my house - doesn’t know where anything is, is suddenly very frail and needs looking after herself.  Yes my daughter is scared, I can’t get through to her.  I honestly wish they’d both go away!  That’s good advice about asking friends to do stuff.  Thanks XX

Get in touch with macmillan there is financial help out there for you. You don't need the worry about losing your home. 

My last reply was as I was going out the door so very quick. Macmillan are not only there for you they are there for your family as well. Don't ask you daughter to contact them you do it and explain the situation to them they'll know how to handle it. 

You will be surprised at how many people out there have had or know someone who has /is going through breast cancer you are definitely not on your own. It, I believe, is one in every two women out there.

Please keep in touch, even though I feel my journey is coming too an end I know I will still be visiting this page as I'm a nosey person. Also its you click on my mug picture I believe you can see my profile and private message me if you want. 

Thank you.  How do I contact Macmillan for support for my daughter?  Is there an option on their website or something?  Things better now my Mum has gone home, but she’s actually gone straight to A&E in her home town because of shortness of breath and pains in her leg!!!  

I spoke to someone at Maggie’s centre and they said I can just apply for the standard government thing - £100 a week?  I didn’t qualify for any grants because of what I’ve got coming in, despite my stupid mortgage that gobbles everything up, making me broke most of the time.  Haven’t done it yet.  

How these help. Have screen shot a couple of bits. 

Hi that’s great thanks I’ll have a look X