Breast Cancer. Radio Therapy. Wearing a softie!

Hi Opalgirl….I haven’t got any wise words to offer, but just a friendly hello to begin with. I had mastectomy 4 weeks ago and have been using softie since then, what problems are you having with it? I haven’t used any oil or suchlike on scar area as it still all feels a bit alien to me to be honest, but I’m sure other people will be able to offer advice on that.

It can certainly feel like a very lonely journey no matter how many supportive  family members or friends you have around you, it’s what’s going on inside your own head that’s difficult to deal with! 
Continue to share your questions or thoughts with this forum, you are definitely not alone.

Best wishes x

Hi MrsPolly

I really appreciate your reply. I feel so alone that I even thought no one was going to bother to contact me on here either!

A friendly Hello back to you and well done on using a softie Ok since your mastectomy 4 weeks ago. I'm not sure if I am using the wrong bras but have some with the pocket but even so I cannot "match" up with my remaining breast despite removing some of the padding and the softie moves about and rises up out the top despite being in a pocket. I find it very frustrating and keep having to adjust myself which is getting a little annoying.

I had heard you could try safety pins and or Velcro but not entirely sure how to go about this. It seems a lot of experimentation but could do with some guidance from others that might have the same problem!!

I was told not to use anything on my scar until I'd reached the 6th week recovery time but am still uncertain even now 7 weeks later.

How are you healing? Hope the exercises are going well and you have movement in your shoulder and arm OK. When is your next follow up appointment? Are you feeling very tired? I do so hope you are coping OK. I certainly struggle with what's going on inside my head.

I am having a CT scan in preparation planning for future radio therapy tomorrow. Very nervous as I have to bare all and will feel very exposed.

Another thing that worries me is feeling too sore to wear a bra to future appointments and not sure I can cope with half a flat chest and one boob only as in this present heat it is hard to cover up.

Once again Thank you for taking the time to reply.

Daft question, but do you have the right size softie? or maybe the bra isn’t quite right?……I had first mastectomy 26 years ago ( no reconstruction) so I’m probably well used to dealing with this situation……I was given choice this time of lumpectomy or mastectomy, chose mastectomy, might as well be totally flat!!…..Had CT and bone scan before surgery, all clear ( CT scan took only 10 mins and remained fully clothed )….results after surgery very good…..all clear, thought I would then be on hormone meds, but now probably chemo as ‘insurance’ against reoccurrence, I must say I am struggling with the thought of it.

You mentioned you feel too sore to wear bra, is that because actual scar is painful? If so, have you mentioned it to breast care nurse, maybe they can offer advice.

Keep in touch, let me know how you get on tomorrow x

Hi There

So sorry. Your recent reply went into my Spam folder so only just seen it.

The BCN gave me my first softie and I measured myself with Amoena to get my second and it came up the same so have two on the go. Found them slightly too large so took some padding out. Have washed them a few times, cover and padding and they are now a bit lumpy. Trouble I have is my actual breast is not as pert and good looking in a bra as the softie hence I have trouble matching them up. The softie rises up as the day goes on even within the pocketed part of the bra. My one and only breast is a bit droopy!  I have to say I am not actually confident that I have my bra size correct and would dearly love to be fitted properly but don't know where to go and would hate to scare and upset  a younger shop assistant with my scar!!

Am I being a bit paranoid do you think?

So sorry to hear you are on your second mastectomy recovery. Did you ever get fitted for a gel filled prosthesis or do you cope with softies all the time? Did you ever get "fitted" after your first mastectomy?

I have already decided I do not want to go down the reconstruction route but obviously want to be happy with my choices of "inserts". Maybe it is early days yet and I need to get used to them and adjust to the fiddling. I had heard you could use velcro inside the bra to keep them in place or buy curtain thread to stitch in to weigh it down but really not sure whether to bother now OR wait until I have my treatment and then get fitted for a proper prosthesis at the hospital on the NHS. Another worry is I don't think they do bra fittings at the same time but uncertain how it actually works!

I am waffling terribly and you can see I am a very indecisive person and feel I need more guidance and support. My initial panic was that I had to wait 6 to 8 weeks for my treatment and was told to wait 3 months for follow up before getting fitted for a prosthesis whereas I had originally hoped I would only have to take the hormonal tablets and was counting down the days to the prosthesis fitting as I had several people say this was a game changer for them.

Therefore having to cope with lumpy softies and them moving about and rising up for another three months.

However today my appointment went extremely well. I think the lead up and thought of it was worse than the actual day thank goodness. I did have to strip off from the waist upwards and laid there chest up fully exposed but the staff were lovely and I coped with both a male and a female together. I was a model patient as had leant the art of laying still after several MRI scans from before and coped OK with holding my breath.  They gave me my start date for treatment which will be 31st August and I only have to have 5 sessions so should be done by 6th Sept. It is this treatment that can give you sunburn and soreness and they have said I might not manage a bra at all after a few sessions. I think I will just have to play it by ear on a day to day basis but it will feel strange dressing and going out without a bra and softie in!!

I did also order a foam breast form initially for swimwear but I have trialled that out as a softie today. It is again slightly bigger than my breast so not a great match but seems to stay down a little better than the padded one. I think it is a lot of trial and error and some days I get quite tearful but just sharing my woes with you is helpful.

I apologise if I've gone on a bit!! Sorry.

I am so sorry to hear you might have to have chemo. That is the scariest treatment of all. Have you got a date booked in to see your oncologist yet? Mine was a good six weeks after the surgery. I think your decision to go with a 2nd mastectomy was the right one and I would do the same if it ever happened to number two.

Hope you are OK and not feeling too tired and coping with exercises and arm movements OK.

Take care and Hope to hear from you soon.

x

Glad to hear your appointment today went better than you feared, it’s the build up to all these tests and scans that cause more anxiety than the actual thing!

I’ve never had an expert fitting for any bra or prosthesis, but I’ve never been well endowed in that region so maybe that made things a little easier. who knows? I’ve heard that Marks and Spencer now do range of mastectomy bras so maybe contact your local store and enquire whether they can measure you up to make you feel more comfortable, I’m sure if they do they’ll have seen it all before!….I agree a lot of it is trial and error and can get quite frustrating at times.

Must admit lately I’ve been feeling tearful most days waiting for next appointment, it’s making me feel physically sick to my stomach with the very thought of chemo on the horizon, wish I could feel more positive, had a long chat with my bc nurse the other day and she made me feel easier, reiterating that cancer was gone and this was totally preventative treatment, but as soon as I get off phone I’m back with my negative thoughts….like everyone on here I just crave a bit of normality back, sooner rather than later.

Take care and keep in touch xx

Thanks for your reply. I think I will bear with and continue to experiment until it is time for a professional fitting for the prosthesis. I will set up a new thread to see if anyone knows if you get measured for a bra size at the same time I think.

My heart goes out to you as you wait fro your next appointment. The waiting game can make you go crazy I know. The fear of having chemo must be a nightmare and I cannot imagine how you must be feeling but can quite understand the emotions and the tears.

The word preventative are most encouraging along with the cancer gone but that does not settle your fears and you will feel up and down emotionally until you are seen.

Do you have an actual date? The countdown to a date can be helpful rather than the waiting for an actual appointment. I wish I had the words to offer you proper comfort but I know other peoples positivity and well meant platitudes does not always help. Just know you are not alone and I am happy fro you to reach out at any time.

Sending you a virtual hug. x

Hi both,

 I am not too bothered about wearing a prosthesis but I have a couple of softies plus one from M and S which is very wearable. As to the anxiety of appointments I feel your pain and to the extent that I have had to leave and go home. I am pretty sure that I am not going with chemo as it’s only 5% out of one hundred that would benefit. My surgery was 100% successful and no lymph nodes were involved. I am going to go with hormone therapy and that has better chances. I know that there are side effects with this but I am just not sure that I could cope with chemo and I need to get on with my life whilst I can without the potential damage that chemo could cause. I hope that this makes sense. I am still in dialogue with my cancer care nurse plus my surgery team nurse who is an ex Macmillan nurse.

Take care everyone and be kind to yourself.

Love and big hugs xxxx

Hi Casput

Thanks for your reply. More for Mrs Polly but thanks for the M&S softie info. I will go in and have a look. have you tried any gel filled ones? 

My Breast Care Nurse says every decision you make about your own personal treatment plan is the right decision. Its just the reaching that right decision that is the hardest part.

Good Luck in your treatment plan. I too will be having the 5 year hormone therapy treatment after my radio therapy sessions.

Take Care. Love and a big hug to you too. x

I know you had the oncotype test  and all the successful surgery results like myself…..this is the dilemma of it knowing you are clear…..I’m totally with you on whether I could cope with any side effects involved ,I’ll have to hear what oncologist has to say and take it from there…..hopefully it will give me some clarity?!?

Love and hugs back xx

Hey there im Interested to hear you have had mastectomy 7 weeks ago. I have just been told that I need one and am not in a good place trying to deal with this news. I see my surgeon next Monday to discuss when it is. I had a lumpectomy at Xmas and course of radiotherapy  and now 6 months later they have found pre cancerous cells but this is the only treatment. I was given a leaflet to book appointment at cancer focus here in Northern Ireland to get fitted for prosthesis and they will measure you for bra so I intend to do that as soon as I have surgery. Maybe you have something like that near you? X