Needing Advice Please

Hello,

Sorry I don’t have any answers for you but I can at least reassure you that you are not alone in feeling this way. My chemo and radiotherapy finished around the same time as yours. Like you, I worry every time I get a twinge anywhere in my body. From what I have read, it’s perfectly normal to feel like like this. Hopefully in time the anxiety will subside and we will become more confident about our health.

in the meantime I hope you can find some distraction from the negative thoughts and get some peace of mind.

Xo

Hi, 

sorry to hear you’re feeling this way. I could’ve literally written this myself a few weeks back. I finished chemo in September and radio in December, also suffered with numbness which has either now passed, or I’m so used to it it’s now normal?! Haha

I spoke to my oncologist a couple of weeks back and told him I was so anxious about recurrence and every ache and pain. E.g I suffer with lower back pain (thanks to my lump of a 2 year old!) but when I said I’m so anxious he referred me for a bone scan. Honestly- getting the all clear from that has made such a difference to my mood, I’m suddenly feeling more positive and finally looking forward to enjoying life. I think the BC team are quick to refer, so if you have new pains etc (however mild they may be) request a scan/test if you think it will reassure you, it sure has for me. 

As for the bleugggh- I totally hear you! Some days I feel crappy and others almost back to the ‘old me’. Try to allow yourself to feel rubbish and know that with each day that passes you’re one day closer to feeling good again. 

My older sister gave me some words of wisdom today- none of us are getting any younger and age just makes our bodies hurt! Haha. 

take good care, 

Dawn x

Awww thank you for your reply Dawn, it's so reassuring that there are others out there who are feeling exactly the same as myself. Trouble is, once I finished chemo especially I told myself I would be ME again but boy, was I wrong. I feel as though the old me has gone forever, never to return and I get so frustrated as I can't do the things I use to be able to do. You are right though about the BC team though although don't really feel the same way about my oncologist as when I last saw her, her reply to all my aches and pains are.....it's normal. I now hate the word normal as I haven't felt "normal" since I found out that I had cancer. I know a lot of healing should be positive thoughts but it's just so hard to feel this way since covid has made it almost impossible to get back to normal lol.

Thank you for your advice, i really do appreciate it xx

Thank you for your reply Celtic Cross. it's good to know I'm not alone in feeling this way. 

I'm guessing time is a great healer huh xx

Hi Tina I had cancer 17 years ago and had lump and all lymph nodes taken out on left side chemo radio and 5 years of tomoxifen. It took me a while to not worry every time I had headache or whatever thinking it would be cancer again but when you get back into normal life this gets less and less. I put on a stone due to chemo and taking it easy so did weightwatches with a friend a couple of months after radio and lost it in 3 months and kind of felt cleansed of chemo drugs - I set a target of 3 months to get outfit for a wedding. So I think you need a break but then get back to life without cancer and set goals and put it to back of mind and enjoy the moment.

4 years ago i got cancer in right breast and as it is triple negative tomoz don’t work so just had chemo and came back Again so now doing chemo. But loved the years in between. So my advice is just get on with life and don’t worry - eat well and exercise and take opportunities to enjoy yourself. 

Thank you for your reply Kaye k, mine was Triple Negative too so that's why i'm so scared its going to come back but understand what you are saying. I'm due to go back to work next month after a year off so hopefully that should help x

I’m sure it will and all the best. Kaye

That’s a coincidence. My cancer was also triple negative! I avoid reading too much about it. I do know that it’s an aggressive form of cancer but the important thing is that it can be treated. The chemo shrunk my tumour to such an extent that there was very little left to remove when I had my surgery.

Best of luck to all and keep positive.

Xo

I think we are a select few. 10-15% of breast cancers. I’m BRACA1 as well - both seem to come together. Bit rubbish but there’s more research going into it

Hi Tina,

I was diagnosed with BC in 2015 after I found a lump at the side of my breast while in the shower. This was then followed by a lumpectomy, chemotherapy,  radiotherapy and 5 years of Letrozole. I also struggled with fearing every ache and pain was the cancer coming back. This eased once I returned to work and life returned to normal. 

However you will always be aware of aches and pains and have that thought of the cancer returning in the back of your mind but this is not a bad thing. Last year I noticed unusual 'twinges'  in my other breast that came and went. This brought on all my old fears of the cancer coming back so I phoned up my BC nurse and I went in for a check up. A mammogram and physical examination turned up nothing but because I'd had cancer previously, I was given a scan. This showed two areas of concern which were followed by biopsies and I was diagnosed with two triple negative tumours. I had a mastectomy/reconstruction and this uncovered a third tumour behind my nipple so a further op to remove my nipple followed which was also positive for TN cancer.

I have just finished chemo and I have been left suffering from numbness and pain in my fingers and toes. There is no radiotherapy due to having my breast removed. There is no hormone treatment due to the cancer being TN. 

I feel extremely lucky for catching it early as it was spreading so quickly with virtually no symptoms or lumps and I am extremely grateful for still having that little voice in my head that worried about aches and pains. That little voice saved my life.

I'm now starting again on that path to recovery, hoping my hair hurries up and grows back as I hate being bald but I feel more confident this time round. I know that I have that inner voice that will not allow me to be complacent about aches and pains, no matter how obscure.

The original obsessive 'every ache or pain might be cancer'  settled down into an early warning system that i hope will always be there for me. I think everyone who has gone through the trauma of a cancer diagnosis and the treatment that follows has the fear of it returning, I know I did but that fear made me more alert and I'm so glad it did. 

Please don't let that fear of it coming back stop you from getting on with your life. Think of it as your early warning system being activated and when things start returning to normal and you get distracted by life carrying on, it will be there in the background working on keeping an eye out for you.

Xxx