10 Swimsuits.

Sorry, Oxfam, auto correct clearly got to me, apologies 

Hi Silverberg, a fellow flattie here. I have been fully flat since 2023 (no interest in prosthetics) and if you have any swimsuits without cups, I would encourage you to hang on and try your swimsuits once your surgery is done. I had some that looked terrible and gaped without breasts, but some surprisingly still work (even one or two low cut ones). My mum adjusted a couple too by altering the length of the straps / taking in a bit of fabric at the side and it made a big difference :)

Hi Rose

Yes I think I will wait. I can adjust straps myself. Part of the reason the style I have is that the cups are soft. That ment the small side didn't " eggbox". I bought a beautiful acid green one from m and s but it was hopeless because of the firm cups. As a result it has only been worn twice.

I have one lymph node affected high up under my collar bone. It is very close to a main artery there. The fabulous consultant radiography was nervous doing the biopsy. I think there will be quite a lot of scaring there as they will need a proper look to get it right. I feel a little more concerned about that scaring than being flat.

I'm so looking forward to getting back into the water after so long. I've missed it and the company so much.

I would love to hear more about your experience of going flat. People around me all look a bit concerned when I talk about it.

Thank you for your support

I have struggled with being flat following my bilateral mastectomy in April 22, I was planning on having a Deip procedure but unfortunately I didn’t have enough fat, I begged for him to try to get me, even just small breast but it was a no, my next option was implants after radiotherapy but unfortunately I was diagnosed with brain and lung mets after that so implants  were no longer an option.

I have never felt comfortable wearing prosthetic’s, I’m the same with wigs!

I have probably looked at my chest a maximum of 6 times since April 22, It is really difficult for me and I have only let my partner see my chest once which was when the dressing was removed. 

I am always happy to read peoples stories when they embrace being flat, maybe one day it’ll rub off on me.

wishing you lots of luck with your upcoming procedure, recovery and beyond xx

Hi Blingbabe, I am sorry to hear that you find it traumatic being flat. I might have considered reconstruction but I have too much fat. The length of time in  surgery seems rather daunting too. I can imagine by the time I'm able to have reconstruction I will be accustomed to bring flat. 

I am very much a person who considers how I look important. The nurses on the chemo unit know if I walk in without a full make up to find me a hospital bed. However I didn't bother with the cold cap because I knew I could rock a turban or hat. 

Until I have had surgery I won't know what it will be like to be flat but I have lived with scaring for a long time. My husband of 40+ years doesn't really worry about how I will look. He just wants me to be here so we can continue our lives. I am quite sure you're feels the same.

This sounds very shallow but I bought a beautiful double breasted blazer in the sale. It's lightweight for the Spring. I'm looking forward to wearing it because I think it will look fabulous.l doubt anyone will notice there are no boobs under it.

I am struggling to reassure you or help and I want to very much. Please contact your BC nurse and the McMillan team or any of the other charities there waiting to give you support.  Living with BC is much more than wounds healing and you deserve to be at peace with yourself. We all live with it for the rest of our lives after diagnosis.

Love and support to you.

Thank you so much for your very kind and thoughtful words, I guess Im resigned to how I feel now, my other half says it doesn’t worry him and its more important that im here and we have a life together but I just cannot, no matter how hard I try, believe that he can possible feel like that, i really do appreciate your message. Enjoy wearing that blazer, Im sure your going to look absolutely amazing xx

I know exactly what you mean about the strange looks when talking about remaining flat! The amount of times I heard 'well, you might change your mind', 'when are you having reconstruction?', 'you can still have reconstruction later', even 'how will you find a husband?' before and after my operation from family, friends and medical professionals still astounds me.

When I was making my choice, I was tired of hospitals and operations (something I imagine you more than fully understand on round 3) and wanted the simplest, most natural option and to get my life back. The more research I did and people I spoke to that were flat, I was certain it was for me. One thing that I felt really helped was that the support group at my hospital put me in touch with a couple of women who were of a similar age and had also chosen to be flat. It was a bit strange meeting a lady on a hot Saturday afternoon to look at her chest, but it did help me to get my head around things and gave me an idea what to expect! I spoke to my surgeon too about my desire for an aesthetic flat finish and knowing he understood that made me more relaxed going into things. My scars are very neat.

Since the day of my operation, I have been very happy with my choice - not one single regret. Sure, my body is different now, but different is not always bad and I embrace it as I know I made the best choice for me. Personally, I feel very free being flat chested - it's more comfortable to sleep, to run, to lie on the beach, etc. I have a brca mutation too, so I guess in a way I felt like my breasts were like ticking time-bombs attached to me, waiting to go off again, and this made it an easier choice to remove them.

My recovery was pretty straight forward. I had a small seroma afterwards, but I saw a physio and was prescribed a kind of compression bandage to wear alongside massage and it soon disappeared. I was back at work two weeks after my mastectomy (although I work from home, so it's not at all strenuous), I think I did some swimming 6 weeks after and back at the gym 8 weeks later once my surgeon said it was ok. Obviously, I took it easy for certain exercises for a while and worked my way back up to strength gradually. 

As blingbabe mentions, being flat or not can be different for everyone, but I think the best thing is to trust what your gut is telling you is the right choice for you and your personal situation. 

I hope that things work out ok with your lymph node and the scarring doesn't turn out too bad in the end.

Sending the biggest hugs for the next steps ahead xx

Hi Rose 

Thank you for your input I really appreciate it. I've got my date with the surgeon it's on the 20th. This last two weeks has gone so slowly because it is my last EC and I will get my Pic line out next week. Then I can get back to swimming. 

I definitely know I don't want a reconstruction. I want it all over as soon as possible with no complications. 

I manage during the day but through the night I keep having long conversations with the surgeon to convince him to do the bilateral mastectomy. I am also concerned that the scaring itself won't be smooth and tidy so I won't be flat but lumpy and uneven. I had an infection the first time and that left me with a very lumpy scar.

If I was some one else I would have lots of suggestions of how to get through these waiting stages but I am afraid I've sort of run out of patience,or tolerance. I know my husband feels the same way.

I'll let you know how I get on. 

Returning the hugs.