Worried

Hi Sparkle, if you look at my profile you will see I've been round the block a couple of times. 

The first time I was still working and I spent the night before mammograms awake going over the what ifs. The following day I taught on autopilot. Thank goodness for great friends and brilliant ETAs who kept me functioning with plenty of coffees until I could leave for my appointment. 

Over the years it became easier, but I always got that sinking feeling as soon as the letter arrived marked NHS. I always said, " They cut the cancer out of your breast but not out of your mind". It is always there ready to spook you at the most surprising times.

Take a deep breath, you will already feel better because you have spoken of your fear. Speak to someone on here AND tell the people around you how you feel. That's what friends and family are for.

Good luck and big hugs.

Thank you for your reassuring words. I guess I just want to get on with my life now and the thought of going through it all again is scary. I know I’m not alone thinking like this but sometimes it feels like it. 

Diagnosis and then treatments happen so fast. There is no time to process everything, we are just pushed into firefighting mode. I regularly have flashbacks to when I was called into the consultant’s room after my mammogram and ultrasound for a suspected cyst and seeing there was a MacMillan nurse in there and understanding what that meant. If the world was a different place I think we would all be offered therapy as part of our treatment plan. 
I had my first check last October and was definitely anxious in the days leading up to my appt but I also found it calming as it reassured me that I am ‘safe’ for a stretch. To be honest, I would happily go once a month  It must be so difficult knowing you are waiting for the mastectomy too.
Are you able to visit a Maggie’s or somewhere like Future Dreams? I was really lucky to get some wellbeing sessions at my local hospice - just connecting with people who understood everything even if I was there for reiki or scar massage has made an enormous difference to me.

Meantime sending you a hug X 

Morning.

I'm the olden days we had follow up appointments from oncologists and surgeons for five years after treatment. At that point I felt abandoned. To be be dismissed after less than a year was a shock. I honestly don't think the support is there after treatment is finished. 

This time the BC nurse was in contact until my chemo started then she rang in October to tell me she would be in touch at the end of February!! That's three months to " get on with it" . The chemo nurses are amazing but they only really know about their bit of the treatment. It would be good to have someone just ring and ask how it's all going.

A phone Call before the first mammogram would be so reassuring. To be told it is normal to be scared witless but that there is back up if we need it. Let's not forget McMillan is a charity and it fills the huge gaps the NHS leave. People with the brac2 gene should be given back up at every stage.

Sorry reading this, it is a bit of a rant but experience over the years has highlighted how much things have changed support wise, and not for the better.

Best wishes to all.

I agree. The whole way through this I have been aware of how stretched everybody is, how many people are seen, how you only get certain things if you advocate for yourself. All of the clinicians work so hard in a tough job - I often think about how hard it must be for them too (not providing a level of care they might like to). Thank goodness for things like this forum where we can support one another ️

Hi Sparkle

I went for my first annual mammogram in October post Lumpectomy, Chemo and RT. It turns out I’ve got fat necrosis (no, me neither) and the internal scarring from my op has been made worse by the RT. 

However they needed to be sure it was just this and not a recurrence so I needed a couple of biopsies, one of which was pretty unpleasant. Fortunately it was just the scarring and completely benign but I might need more surgery to tidy it up.

The funny thing is, even when I wasn’t completely sure how it was going to turn out, I felt oddly calm. Put yourself in the hands of the experts. 

I’m very glad I don’t need further cancer treatment, but if I did then I’m sure they would have come up with something to sort me out

Best wishes for problem-free check up x