Mum been diagnosed with breast cancer

Hi Emz,

So sorry to hear about your mum, waiting for results is really hard. Lymph involvement doesn't necessarily mean it's spread beyond the lymph nodes, but there are no definitive answers. I don't have lymph involvement but cancer was found in my bones anyway, as cancer cells can travel in the blood system too. Hopefully in your mum's case it's not spread beyond the lymphs. It's so much easier said than done but try not to worry about what might be. I decided to enjoy the time I had before treatment / surgery began when I might not have been able to do so much. 

Wishing you and your mum all the best,

BoF xx

Thank you for your kind words, I hope you are coping okay, you sound very brave, it’s the waiting and anxiety we are struggling with X 

Thank you Emz. I'm no braver than anyone else, I had no choice but to endure this. And MANY tears have been shed. But if I'm stuck on this train that i didn't buy a ticket for, i may as well take advantage of the onboard entertainment and buffet car while admiring the scenery. I have amazing support surrounding me, which helps so much. 

Take it one day at a time, distract yourselves anyway you can - for me it was not letting myself have time to sit and dwell. Books, TV, games, sorting through things to get rid of, cooking, walking, talking with friends, going to the panto- these are some of the things I did. If you can, try to live in the present, don't focus on what MIGHT happen. It might not, no-one knows for sure what will happen tomorrow.

Everyone told me it gets better when you have answers and a treatment plan. It does. It really truly does. Keep talking, keep reaching out.  We understand how distressing and frustrating and emotional this time is.

BoF xx

I’m crying reading your reply, I’m an only child and my mum is my world, but hearing you say not to focus on what might happen is what I need to do, I keep thinking the worst.  Thank you again, hearing from someone going through it and giving advice does make you brace and so kind trying to help me, treatment plan is 5 sleeps away and I just want to have it so we know a plan and maybe help the uncertainty X 

Hi Emz1974 I'm glad you've found this forum to help you and your mum through this time.  As you've realised, waiting for results is really difficult and I certainly found it easier once I had a plan. As BoxOfFrogs says, keeping busy helps through this period.

I wanted to also let you know there is other support available here for both you and your mum. Macmillan runs a telephone support line, which you can call on 0800 808 0000 if you need to chat anything through.  They also have many helpful information booklets (as Dr Google is to be avoided) which you can access via this link Link to breast cancer info

Wishing you and your mum good luck for your results meeting, best wishes 

Thank you so much you are all so kind x 

Hi Emz

I'm in the same boat, only daughter and my mum was diagnosed 2 weeks before Christmas and I've been absolutely beside myself. 

I offered to go to my mum's first appointment to go through the treatment plan and I'm so glad I did. I actually felt like I could be helpful and take some of the burden of retaining information and remembering what questions to ask, and helping her make decisions around things such as cold caps. Also really helped me mentally being able to get the info first hand from the Dr.

She's got a long road ahead of her, but I echo what everyone else has said around it being better when she's had that appointment... when you don't know what you're worrying about you worry about everything!

Sending hugs!

Katie

We had our appointment today and mum has triple negative breast cancer and they are going to start with chemo then surgery, they still say intent to cure but it’s so scary, seeing oncologist in 2 weeks then chemo will start, they are still very hopeful for mum, I’m struggling more than she is for what’s ahead x 

Please tell your Mum I had triple negative bc in 2015. The treatment wasn't always pleasant but your mum is going to find your support so helpful. It will be the practical little things that will matter most. I only have sons but my eldest took time from work ( we were lucky that he can be flexible) and stayed for three months to help OH and me. As you can see I am still here to chat to you and my 9th year mammogram in December was clear again. 

I wish your mum a successful recovery too. ....I know you are worried but if you chat on the Awake thread you will find a lot of extra support from others who like me have been successfully treated but who will have experience to answer your questions and give you encouragement. Everyone on this site can understand your fear and will empathize but just by being there for your mum, you're already doing a great job. 

Take care of yourself too. Mum needs you to be strong.

Keep in touch. Love Karen

Thank you and so happy to hear you are doing well. Mum is 70 but relatively healthy, I’m the weak one, she’s always looked after me, so lovely the support and advice you have given X