Just been diagnosed and awaiting treatment plan feel like emotionally I’ve fallen into a large black hole . How do you tell your family when you can’t face next week yourself .
Hello Lili1. So sorry you find yourself here but you’re in great company! It is without a doubt a huge blow to be diagnosed with something which we all assume is devastatingly life threatening but itis definitely not in all cases. Firstly, they will tell you what stage you are and how they propose to treat you. There is no absolute ‘norm’ as you have may gathered, as the team have to discuss your situation and the best way forward. Some have chemo first, some mastectomy/lumpectomy, some of us go on to have radiotherapy (RT). You will hopefully learn to ‘grit your teeth’ and go with the flow. I found the chemo and RT staff were the BEST in the hospital! So caring and kind and ready to answer any questions .You also have access to macmillan navigators by phone. I really hope you sail through through treatment. The best people to have around you are good friends and family and if possible, join a cancer group in your area. I have and it’s been a blessing chatting over coffee about ANYTHING and EVERYTHING! I wish you well. XxX
Oh! I only told husband! Didn’t let him come into any meetings as I didn’t want him to break down crying! Didn’t tell neighbours, friends or daughter for 4 months which was after mastectomy…neighbours etc were fantastic and I got gifts galore! Everyone was really lovely..deal with telling people in your own way/own time xxxxx
Thank you Tavares for sharing your knowledge and experiences it does help to know I’m not alone in how I feel , you have given me food for thought . I have couple good friends who I know will support me on this journey I think it might be time to share .
From a different perspective, I have been open right from the beginning with my family and friends. I wanted to normalise talking about it rather than hiding it. People’s responses are nothing short of kindness, sympathy and love. You might be pleasantly surprised that people around you will be very supportive in any way they can. Take the opportunity to accept these when you need it, because you will need some along the way. Wishing you all the best.
Talking really helps you to face tomorrow and next week but it doesn't have to be nearest and dearest if that will add to the negative at this stage. I had Macmillan telephone counseling set up so a trained, objective third party could help me and get me out of the pit of despair! My mantra some days whilst lying under the duvet is "just get both feet on the floor", once up and about small things are manageable and so the day progresses. My counselor was able to advise on how to discuss the diagnosis with family and how to let them know how they can help to give them a starting point of dealing with the news and overcoming the shock. People feel better if they have an action to take. Sounds like you have a few people in mind as core support team, don't be afraid to lean on them, imagine how you would feel if it was one of them with the diagnosis, would you want them to tell you so you could help? Best of luck x
I think on reflection I will struggle if I don’t have a good support as I’m also in a caring role for someone 24 hours a day and I think this is also on my mind all the time as well . many thanks
with the caring role I’m in I’m beginning to see there is a much bigger picture I need to be looking at . Everybody’s kind advice has helped to move my thoughts from panic to what next . I think the counselling sounds such a good idea sometimes we need an objective voice as you have said . you are definitely right about friends I would without a doubt want to support them if the tables were turned . many thanks
